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Funny satire stories about Britain

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Funny story: Donald Trump Calls Boris Johnson His Long Lost Poodle

Donald Trump Calls Boris Johnson His Long Lost Poodle

Speaking from the Rose Garden to reporters today, Donald Trump congratulated Boris Johnson as his selection as Prime Minister of Great Britain. "I don't really understand what makes Britain great since they lost our colonies, but I think that's fine,...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson To Officially Designate Britain As The 51st State Of The USA

Boris Johnson To Officially Designate Britain As The 51st State Of The USA

New Conservative Party leader, Boris Johnson, has spoken to the press after his victory over rival, Jeremy Hunt, was confirmed, and said that his first task was to officially designate Great Britain as the 51st state of the USA. In America, Presid...

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Funny story: Iranians Board British Tanker In Time For Tea

Iranians Board British Tanker In Time For Tea

Today the Iranian Navy boarded the British oil tanker Bloody Hell Brexit Already, but were unable to take command of the vessel. "There simply was not time for such rubbish," said the Captain Reginald Kipling. "We were just pouring tea and having...

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Funny story: Ballsy Brit survives nude swim round Great Britain

Ballsy Brit survives nude swim round Great Britain

Disoriented and confused, 33-year-old Ross Edgy was found off the coast of Scotland (or maybe it was Wales), having swum in circles for 12 days. I left Kent, or maybe it was Limerick, on—well, it was sometime this year, I think—bound for France—or...

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Funny story: Britannia's bid to become a man left in ruins

Britannia's bid to become a man left in ruins

It has been over two years now since the UK's referendum on whether national symbol Britannia should remain a woman, or should become a man. The vote for the sex change narrowly won, but still we are no closer to seeing her with a cock and balls.

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Funny story: Brexit nearly happened in 1886

Brexit nearly happened in 1886

Brexit covers the newspapers these days like a tramp's vomit, but it isn't the first time Britain has considered leaving a large international organisation - it nearly happened in 1886. While the British Empire was approaching its peak, there was a small movement for Britain to leave it. Coincidentally, it was led by my great-uncle, also named Sir Geoffroy Cockface. Sir Geoffroy was trouserer t...

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Funny story: Two Fingers to the EU as UK Signs Trade Deal With Burkina Faso

Two Fingers to the EU as UK Signs Trade Deal With Burkina Faso

"The United Kingdom is open for business, now more than ever," that was Prime Minister Theresa May's post-Brexit message to journalists gathered at No. 10 Downing Street yesterday. Words expelled with both vigor and pomp, she was speaking after sign...

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Funny story: Britain's first Minister for Fashion

Britain's first Minister for Fashion

Prime Minister, Theresa May, has now appointed Britian's first ever Minister for Fashion. Former Lord Chancellor and Brexit architect, Michael Gove, began work yesterday in his new offices just off Carnaby Street. "Couldn't be a better location",...

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Funny story: National Treasures to be Housed in Museum

National Treasures to be Housed in Museum

Britain's National Treasures, including the likes of Julie Walters and Dame Judi Dench, are to be rounded up and housed in a museum it was announced today. The new Culture Secretary, Karen Bradley today unveiled her plans stating that it was vita...

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Funny story: Britain becomes third world country due to lack of third runway at Heathrow

Britain becomes third world country due to lack of third runway at Heathrow

LONDON, ENGLAND - The damning economic report issued today revealed the lowest GDP growth figures in British history, effectively rendering Britain a third world country. Economists, politicians and self-proclaimed "experts" from down the pub wer...

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Funny story: Saudi Arabia to join Top Gear

Saudi Arabia to join Top Gear

RIYADH, KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA - Saudi Arabia, the oil rich Gulf state, has continued its attempt to shake its bad reputation as a regressive, brutal dictatorship by joining the British motoring show Top Gear, replacing host Chris Evans, who left th...

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Funny story: Northern Line at rush hour revealed as Dante's tenth circle of hell

Northern Line at rush hour revealed as Dante's tenth circle of hell

In a shock statement, the tenth circle of hell from Dante's "Inferno" has been named as the Northern Line at rush hour. Intended as the circle to punish commuters for trusting the British public transportation system, this horrendous site sees an...

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Funny story: God to step down, names Alexis Taylor of Hot Chip as successor

God to step down, names Alexis Taylor of Hot Chip as successor

HEAVEN - God announced today in a press statement that he aimed to step down from the role of God. He clarified that: "it's difficult being God, people don't really get that there's a lot to it, you know, unleashing fiery vengeance upon whores an...

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Funny story: Great Britain Does It Better

Great Britain Does It Better

After watching the first bumbling day of the National Republican Convention in Cleveland, one can only remark, with a degree of envy, Great Britain does it better! Or as the song goes: Nobody Does It Better… Yep! David Cameron was PM for breakf...

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Funny story: Celts demand land rights

Celts demand land rights

According to a spokesman for the Celtic Universal Rights Society (CURS), Mr Dai Jones, the Celts were driven out of what is now Britain by successive waves of invaders, such as the Romans and Anglo-Saxons, leaving them only what is now Wales and part...

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Funny story: Channel Tunnel brought to a standstill by Brits hoping to escape the Island!

Channel Tunnel brought to a standstill by Brits hoping to escape the Island!

Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach Infiltration Army) special demographic upheaval reporter, Sir Bob Subterranean-Blues-Witherspoon, spent a filthy night under the English Channel observing an Exodus (Bob Marley intro please) of True Brits flooding the Chann...

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Funny story: New England/Scotland Partnership

New England/Scotland Partnership

Politicians in London emerged from the basement at 10 Downing Street after spending 3 weeks sequestered in a marathon brainstorming session to contrive a scheme to quash the Scottish rebellion and subjugate them with draconian punitive measures. T...

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