OTTAWA, Canada – (Satire News) – A reporter with the Chicago Wind newspaper reports that the individual who set fire to Ottawa’s Church of The Wandering Moose, was caught by parishioners and beaten all over his body with several collection plates.
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – Former New York Giants cheerleader Sasha Lippowitz, 29, got married to the man of her dreams, Coney Island hot dog vendor, Louie “Wassup” Tellatini, 27. The two originally met at the Ice Rink at Rockefeller Center. Sasha…
World famous psychic Rudy "Two Phones" Jackster announced his latest revelation yesterday afternoon to a riveted crowd of followers just outside his home in Jackson, Mississippi. He claims this transmission was straight from God, something he's d…
TOPEKA, Kansas – (Satire News) – After getting thousands of complaints from church members; especially members of the choir, the Fly-Over state of Kansas has enacted an amendment that will strictly prohibit breastfeeding in the church. The Vox Pop…
NEW YORK CITY – Production has temporarily been suspended on daytime TV's top-rated soap opera, “The Young and the Restless”. iRumors reports that two stars, Romulus Oxnard and Pansy Voxatoria, who play married couple Quiller and Skyler Lollygag,…
LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) - The Las Vegas Roulette Gazette newspaper is reporting that the president did something that he has not done in 6 years. He actually set foot in a church. Trump attended Our Lady of The Roulette Wheel in downtown Las Veg…
Boston's Father Seamus O’Hodge recalls how listening to confessions used to be enjoyable and dangerous, but now they’re as edgy as an Obama confession on Oprah. At a Barnes and Noble book signing, promoting his new autobiography, ‘Sins aren’t what…
Wauzeka, Wisconsin. Members at St. Jude & Bethany's Episcopal Church Of Profoundly Serious Enlightenment And Dedication gathered together, last Wednesday, to hold a "celebration of life" for Michael Willard Kain, an abusive, gruesome, hot-temper…
(Madison TWP, PA) America’s church bookkeepers and other non-profit religious organizations have been left baffled on how to manage government bailout money being shoveled their way. The U.S. Federal government’s unprecedented approval of a $2 t...
With the corona lockdown, curfews and general ruling of not being allowed to do anything or go anywhere, Church attendance figures have nosedived even further. In fact, the current average across British chapels and temples is nil. This worrying deve...
KALAMAZOO, Michigan – Father Vicencio of the St. Gorgonzola Catholic Church has said that he will adhere to the no more than 10 people rule that has been implement by the government. Father Vic, known for his self-aggrandizing nature, expressed t...
After several parishioners approached him asking what he thought of adopting a vegan lifestyle out of compassion for animals, Pastor Raymond Roberts of Crossroads Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, assured them that people of faith need not co...
I, like many others, was outraged by the news that Cardinal Pell, the former Vatican treasurer, had been found guiilty in an Australian court of sexual offences against two boys in Melbourne in 1996. The court arrived at its verdict in December la...
After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...
In a gesture of solidarity with politically-despondent Americans, the Vatican has announced that for the duration of Donald Trump's presidency, suicide by Americans will not be considered a mortal sin disqualifying them from eternal salvation. "We...
The world was left stunned today when the almighty God descended from on high to announce that He, the Alpha and Omega, has officially become an atheist. The surprising revelation had an even more surprising origin, as the Father confirmed that the c...
The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina held a news conference this morning in Raleigh to announce that he had, in the last day, emitted a giant turd. The emission weighed six pounds, seven ounces and McCorkle stated, "It was the...
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