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Funny story: A Terrorist Who Set Fire To A Christian Church In Ottawa, Canada Is Caught and Beaten With Collection Plates

A Terrorist Who Set Fire To A Christian Church In Ottawa, Canada Is Caught and Beaten With Collection Plates

OTTAWA, Canada – (Satire News) – A reporter with the Chicago Wind newspaper reports that the individual who set fire to Ottawa’s Church of The Wandering Moose, was caught by parishioners and beaten all over his body with several collection plates.

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Funny story: Newlywed Bride Lands On Her Sexy Ass After Slipping On Rice

Newlywed Bride Lands On Her Sexy Ass After Slipping On Rice

BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – Former New York Giants cheerleader Sasha Lippowitz, 29, got married to the man of her dreams, Coney Island hot dog vendor, Louie “Wassup” Tellatini, 27. The two originally met at the Ice Rink at Rockefeller Center. Sasha…

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Funny story: Psychic relays God's Plan for saving humanity: All out war between Wokers, Cancelers, PCs and Trump supporters

Psychic relays God's Plan for saving humanity: All out war between Wokers, Cancelers, PCs and Trump supporters

World famous psychic Rudy "Two Phones" Jackster announced his latest revelation yesterday afternoon to a riveted crowd of followers just outside his home in Jackson, Mississippi. He claims this transmission was straight from God, something he's d…

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Funny story: Kansas Will No Longer Allow Breastfeeding in Church

Kansas Will No Longer Allow Breastfeeding in Church

TOPEKA, Kansas – (Satire News) – After getting thousands of complaints from church members; especially members of the choir, the Fly-Over state of Kansas has enacted an amendment that will strictly prohibit breastfeeding in the church. The Vox Pop…

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Funny story: The Coronavirus Hits The Cast of The Young and the Restless

The Coronavirus Hits The Cast of The Young and the Restless

NEW YORK CITY – Production has temporarily been suspended on daytime TV's top-rated soap opera, “The Young and the Restless”. iRumors reports that two stars, Romulus Oxnard and Pansy Voxatoria, who play married couple Quiller and Skyler Lollygag,…

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Funny story: Trump Goes to Church With Hope Hicks – Where The Hell is Melania?

Trump Goes to Church With Hope Hicks – Where The Hell is Melania?

LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) - The Las Vegas Roulette Gazette newspaper is reporting that the president did something that he has not done in 6 years. He actually set foot in a church. Trump attended Our Lady of The Roulette Wheel in downtown Las Veg…

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Funny story: Confessional autobiography of Priest reveals the quality of sins has declined

Confessional autobiography of Priest reveals the quality of sins has declined

Boston's Father Seamus O’Hodge recalls how listening to confessions used to be enjoyable and dangerous, but now they’re as edgy as an Obama confession on Oprah. At a Barnes and Noble book signing, promoting his new autobiography, ‘Sins aren’t what…

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Funny story: Politically-Correct Congregation Holds A "Celebration Of Life" For Alcoholic, Abusive, And Gruesome Monster Who Was Probably Just Misunderstood

Politically-Correct Congregation Holds A "Celebration Of Life" For Alcoholic, Abusive, And Gruesome Monster Who Was Probably Just Misunderstood

Wauzeka, Wisconsin. Members at St. Jude & Bethany's Episcopal Church Of Profoundly Serious Enlightenment And Dedication gathered together, last Wednesday, to hold a "celebration of life" for Michael Willard Kain, an abusive, gruesome, hot-temper…

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Funny story: Houses of Worship in Accounting Crisis Over Relief Package

Houses of Worship in Accounting Crisis Over Relief Package

(Madison TWP, PA) America’s church bookkeepers and other non-profit religious organizations have been left baffled on how to manage government bailout money being shoveled their way. The U.S. Federal government’s unprecedented approval of a $2 t...

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Funny story: Sacred Gifts for the Homeless

Sacred Gifts for the Homeless

With the corona lockdown, curfews and general ruling of not being allowed to do anything or go anywhere, Church attendance figures have nosedived even further. In fact, the current average across British chapels and temples is nil. This worrying deve...

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Funny story: A Catholic Church in Kalamazoo, Michigan Opens Up A Drive-Thru Confessional

A Catholic Church in Kalamazoo, Michigan Opens Up A Drive-Thru Confessional

KALAMAZOO, Michigan – Father Vicencio of the St. Gorgonzola Catholic Church has said that he will adhere to the no more than 10 people rule that has been implement by the government. Father Vic, known for his self-aggrandizing nature, expressed t...

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Funny story: Meat-Loving Preacher Points Out that, Unlike with Humans, Little Scientific Evidence Exists that Animals Have Souls

Meat-Loving Preacher Points Out that, Unlike with Humans, Little Scientific Evidence Exists that Animals Have Souls

After several parishioners approached him asking what he thought of adopting a vegan lifestyle out of compassion for animals, Pastor Raymond Roberts of Crossroads Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, assured them that people of faith need not co...

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Funny story: A Poem For Cardinal Pell

A Poem For Cardinal Pell

I, like many others, was outraged by the news that Cardinal Pell, the former Vatican treasurer, had been found guiilty in an Australian court of sexual offences against two boys in Melbourne in 1996. The court arrived at its verdict in December la...

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Funny story: People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...

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Funny story: Vatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide

Vatican Temporarily Sanctions American Suicide

In a gesture of solidarity with politically-despondent Americans, the Vatican has announced that for the duration of Donald Trump's presidency, suicide by Americans will not be considered a mortal sin disqualifying them from eternal salvation. "We...

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Funny story: God Admits He Is An Atheist

God Admits He Is An Atheist

The world was left stunned today when the almighty God descended from on high to announce that He, the Alpha and Omega, has officially become an atheist. The surprising revelation had an even more surprising origin, as the Father confirmed that the c...

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Funny story: Elderly minister emits giant turd, names it Bernard, enrolls it in Harvard!

Elderly minister emits giant turd, names it Bernard, enrolls it in Harvard!

The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina held a news conference this morning in Raleigh to announce that he had, in the last day, emitted a giant turd. The emission weighed six pounds, seven ounces and McCorkle stated, "It was the...

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