AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - Texas Governor Greg Abbott has been called lots of things, an asshole, a turdhead, a low-life rattlesnake, and an ugly-looking hemorrhoid.
Abbott, who is as ugly as Arkansas Governor Sarah "Chubs" Huckabee, but not as humongously fat, bet "Chubs" that the Philadelphia Eagles would defeat the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl LVII.
The bet was for $15,000 and Sarah says she needs the money to buy bread, a Butterball turkey or maybe two, a case of FDS, half a dozen watermelons, and some size 18 reversible panties.
The Chiefs beat the Eagles 38-35, so Abbott lost, and Huckabee won (fair and square).
Now the piece of baboon shit (aka Greg Abbott) says that the bet was actually for $15, which he'll gladly pay, but Sarah says that she videotaped Greggy and the bet was definitely for $15,000.
Meanwhile Sarah's daddy, Mikey, has contacted the FBI, who say they will view the videotape, and if Gov. Huckabee is correct, then Gov. Abbott will have two choices, either pay Sarah the $15,000 or be fined $45,000, and spend 90 days at Huntsville State Prison in Texas. ■
