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Funny satire stories about Greg Abbott

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Funny story: Two members of the Proud Boys planned to steal Gov. Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott's wheelchair

Two members of the Proud Boys planned to steal Gov. Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott's wheelchair

The FBI has uncovered a plot by two low-level members of the highly extremist group, The Proud Boys, who were going to steal Gov. "Shitface" Abbott's million dollar wheelchair and throw it in the Gulf of Mexico. Federal agents Clive P. Trailwood a…

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Funny story: Greg Abbot faces flat-tire frustration admist Texas Troubles

Greg Abbot faces flat-tire frustration admist Texas Troubles

While another mass shooter was busy killing children and taking selfies, Greg Abbott was busying himself in his driveway grappling with the bicycle tire repair kit he received as a Christmas gift last year for his wheelchair. Now that he actually nee…

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Funny story: Gov. Greg "Eggplant" Abbott has been arrested for reckless wheelchair driving

Gov. Greg "Eggplant" Abbott has been arrested for reckless wheelchair driving

In a bizarre turn of events, Governor Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott found himself in handcuffs after being charged with reckless driving while operating his wheelchair. The governor, bearing an uncanny resemblance to a rotten eggplant, attempted…

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Funny story: The Nutcase Governor of Texas, Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Announces He Is Going To Run For President (Ah Make That Roll For President)

The Nutcase Governor of Texas, Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Announces He Is Going To Run For President (Ah Make That Roll For President)

MAR-A-LAGO - (Spoof News) - Texas Governor Greg Abbott has announced from the wheelchair ramp at Trump's Mar-a-Liar complex that he is throwing his red MAGA cap into the presidential ring. Abbott, who is known for his distinctive appearance, is wi…

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Funny story: Texas' Lame Duck Governor Greg "Wheels" Abbott Says a Space Ship Swooped Down and Picked Him Up - Wheelchair and All

Texas' Lame Duck Governor Greg "Wheels" Abbott Says a Space Ship Swooped Down and Picked Him Up - Wheelchair and All

AUSTIN - (Satire News) - A person (who is in the same "Racist League" as Adolf Hitler, George Wallace, the KKK, Hirohito, and Donald "Itsy Bitsy Fingers" Trump), namely GOPer Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott, informed his chief of security Warren "Bub…

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Funny story: The FBI Will Be Arresting Texas Governor Greg "Wheels" Abbott For Refusing To Pay His Super Bowl Bet To Gov. Sarah Huckabee

The FBI Will Be Arresting Texas Governor Greg "Wheels" Abbott For Refusing To Pay His Super Bowl Bet To Gov. Sarah Huckabee

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - Texas Governor Greg Abbott has been called lots of things, an asshole, a turdhead, a low-life rattlesnake, and an ugly-looking hemorrhoid. Abbott, who is as ugly as Arkansas Governor Sarah "Chubs" Huckabee, but not…

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Funny story: Greg Abbot LOVES All the Pretty Migrants

Greg Abbot LOVES All the Pretty Migrants

A black windowless van has been spotted pulling up at the back of Greg Abbott’s governor’s mansion, and about a dozen migrants were seen getting out. Most of them young pretty girls – not women, girls. What’s going on, Greg? And then it hit me … G…

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Funny story: VP Kamala Harris Sends 10 Busloads of D.C.'s Homeless To Texas Gov. Greg "The Asshole" Abbott's Governor's Mansion

VP Kamala Harris Sends 10 Busloads of D.C.'s Homeless To Texas Gov. Greg "The Asshole" Abbott's Governor's Mansion

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - In a move to show that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, VP Harris has sent 10 busloads of homeless D.C. residents down to Texas Governor Greg "The Eggplant-Looking" Abbott's mansion in Austin, Texa…

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Funny story: Gov. Greg "The Asshole" Abbott of Texas Inadvertently Sends 10 Busloads of Immigrants To Mar-A-Lago

Gov. Greg "The Asshole" Abbott of Texas Inadvertently Sends 10 Busloads of Immigrants To Mar-A-Lago

MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - "The Evil Turd" (aka Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump) is madder than a woodpecker with a bruised pecker. It seems that the most hated governor in the history of governors, (that be Gov. Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott) inadv…

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Funny story: How The Hell Did An Evil, Hate-Spewing, Racist Like Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Win???

How The Hell Did An Evil, Hate-Spewing, Racist Like Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Win???

AUSTIN - (Satire News) - The entire Lone Star state, even the GOPers and GOPettes are in shock as they cannot for the life of themselves figure out how the hell Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott managed to get his relic old ass re-elected. Baseball grea…

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Funny story: Investigators Have Learned That Texas Gov. Greg "The Scumbag" Abbott Has Been a Member of The KKK for 6 Years

Investigators Have Learned That Texas Gov. Greg "The Scumbag" Abbott Has Been a Member of The KKK for 6 Years

HOUSTON, Texas - (Satire News) - The News Blues News Agency has broken the story that one of the most hated persons in America (besides Trump, Gaetz, Jordan, and Gutfeld) has been a card-carrying member of the Ku Klux Klan since May of 2016. The i…

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Funny story: Migrant-Nado! - Hit movie franchise or humanitarian travesty?

Migrant-Nado! - Hit movie franchise or humanitarian travesty?

(Sharknado was just a movie, just a movie, just a movie …) The recent hurricane that hit Florida has done more damage than most media outlets are ready or willing to report. Strange things … unbelievable if it wasn’t for the damage done. As Hur…

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Funny story: Abbot’s Vanishing Act

Abbot’s Vanishing Act

Since Greg Abbott is allergic to people, so much so that he won’t invite them to a debate between himself and Beto O’Rourke, not even the parents of the murdered children of Uvalde, Greg will now be ruling in complete secrecy. After the debate, he…

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Funny story: NY City Mayor Eric Adams Responds to Texas Gov. Greg Abbott

NY City Mayor Eric Adams Responds to Texas Gov. Greg Abbott

(NYC) Following the inane, misguided pre-election publicity stunt by Texas Governor Greg Abbott to send busloads of apprehended illegal immigrants to the Big Apple, Mayor Adams has reciprocated in a magnanimous gesture of interstate cooperation, by s…

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Funny story: Beto O'Rourke Who Is Running For Governor of Texas Challenges Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott To a Wheelchair Race

Beto O'Rourke Who Is Running For Governor of Texas Challenges Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott To a Wheelchair Race

EL PASO, Texas - (Satire News) - According to 89% of all registered Texas voters, Democrat, Republican, Independents, and atheists, the next governor of the great state of Texas will be Beto O'Rourke,a man who, unlike Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott…

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Funny story: Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Gets Bit On The Nose By a Raven

Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Gets Bit On The Nose By a Raven

VIDOR, Texas - (Satire News) - Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott was in the parking lot of a local Vidor Walmart, when he was suddenly attacked by a raven. Vidor is a rough town, and is considered the headquarters of The Texas Chapter of the Ku…

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Funny story: Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Mandates That From Now On All Early Voting Democrat Ballots Will Have To Be Placed In a Ballot Box In Amarillo

Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Mandates That From Now On All Early Voting Democrat Ballots Will Have To Be Placed In a Ballot Box In Amarillo

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - "Wheelchair Willie," better known as "The Asshole From Texas," recently told a reporter with The Amarillo Morning Messenger newspaper that he is even more popular than Texas athletes Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Jose Altuve…

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