MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – Melania secretly returned home to the “Big Apple” to get a break from their citrus-smelling Mar-a-Lago complex.
Mel has told her racist husband, the Trumptard, that she hates living in the Plywood/Hurricane state because of the fact that there are 7,000 mosquitoes to every man, woman, and child.
Plus, she hates the fact that her fat, tub-of-lard, 351-pound orange volcano plays golf every fucking day (her word) and he spends more time at the local McDonalds than he does with her.
She recently told her BFF LeBron James that, it’s okay with her because that way her and LeJames, as she calls him, have more time to text, to email, to Instagram, and to Face Time.
Melania recently confided to her very close girlfriend and confidante, Meghan Markle that Donaldo made her promise not to tell anyone that he is afflicted with Peckerlimpatosis (aka Erectile Dysfunction).
SIDENOTE: Melania recently told Ivanka that her daddy’s pee-pee resembles a little orange acorn, to which Ivanka responded by saying, “Yes Melly, I know.”
