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Funny satire stories about Celine Dion

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Funny story: An Extremely Skinny Celine Dion Says That Her Grandkids Call Her Granny Swizzle Stick

An Extremely Skinny Celine Dion Says That Her Grandkids Call Her Granny Swizzle Stick

LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - Celine Dion has one of the best voices in the business, but when it comes to eating, she has the worst eating habit, west of the Mississippi River. Dion, says she's afflicted with a condition known as Anoriffio Bulifota…

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Funny story: The Reason Celine Dion Had To Cancel Her Concert Tours of Japan, Portugal, Bolivia, and Pisagovia

The Reason Celine Dion Had To Cancel Her Concert Tours of Japan, Portugal, Bolivia, and Pisagovia

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - One of the greatest singers of all time, has just sadly informed the news media that she is having to cancel her upcoming "Singing Up A Storm To The Fantabulous Songs of Celine Dion World Concert Tour." The 54-year-…

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Funny story: Celine Dion Is Asked To Be The Poster Woman For Adult Female Anorexia Nervosa

Celine Dion Is Asked To Be The Poster Woman For Adult Female Anorexia Nervosa

LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - The Alpha Beta News Agency has just revealed that the American Federation of Adult Female Anorexia Nervosa has contacted famed singer Celine Dion about becoming the official spokeswoman for the dreaded disease. ABNA wri…

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Funny story: Celine Dion Is So Damn Skinny She Is Having To Wear A Training Bra

Celine Dion Is So Damn Skinny She Is Having To Wear A Training Bra

LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – The Las Vegas Roulette-Gazette newspaper, reports that world-famous singer Celine Dion has lost a tremendous amount of weight and now looks like a damn white drinking straw. A close friend of the songstress said that Mi…

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Funny story: Celine Dion Down To 81 Pounds Insists She Is Not Anorexic

Celine Dion Down To 81 Pounds Insists She Is Not Anorexic

LAS VEGAS – (Entertainment Satire) – Close friends of songstress Celine Dion are extremely worried about her, as she has dipped down to a skinny-as-hell 81 pounds. A member of her Las Vegas band, who begged not to have his name released, said that…

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Funny story: Alex Rodriguez Pays $4,000 For Jennifer Lopez To Get An Ass Tattoo

Alex Rodriguez Pays $4,000 For Jennifer Lopez To Get An Ass Tattoo

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – One of the sexiest celebrities in America has just revealed that her New Year’s resolution was to get a brand new tattoo on her ample ass. Jennifer Lopez told Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle that her fiancé,…

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Funny story: Celine Dion Says She’s Down to 67 Pounds

Celine Dion Says She’s Down to 67 Pounds

LAS VEGAS – (Celebrity Satire) – Celine Dion has just admitted that, yes, it’s true, she is now down to 67 pounds. The Canadian songbird remarked that she has been border-line anorexic since 2007, and just since September, she has become totally a…

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Funny story: Canadian Rockers Teach Goat to Sing

Canadian Rockers Teach Goat to Sing

Canadian rock band The Radically Whipped has found a replacement for deceased singer Gordon Downer. "When Gord died, we were really bummed out, because we knew no human being could replace him," said band member Bob Raker, "but then we started th...

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Funny story: The Seattle Seahawks Flew All Over The Field While The Denver Broncos Merely Horsed Around

The Seattle Seahawks Flew All Over The Field While The Denver Broncos Merely Horsed Around

NEW YORK CITY - Many of the leading sportswriters in the country are still stunned at the way that the Seattle Seahawks manhandled the Denver Broncos in their 43-8 Super Bowl XLVIII victory. Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily stated th...

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Funny story: New York City May Be Renaming Central Park President Nelson Mandela Park

New York City May Be Renaming Central Park President Nelson Mandela Park

NEW YORK CITY - There is a widespread movement in the city of New York to honor the late president of South Africa Nelson Mandela by naming Central Park in his honor. Several council members have asked that the mayor consider making the necessary...

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Funny story: Wynonna Judd Reveals That The Cooking Show Plans Have Sizzled Out

Wynonna Judd Reveals That The Cooking Show Plans Have Sizzled Out

NASHVILLE - Country music artist Wynonna Judd has just informed her fans and the music media that the plans for her cooking show have sizzled out like half a dozen slices of bacon. Judd said that the plans hit the kitchen floor after the shows exe...

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Funny story: Ian Somerhalder Receives A Fantastic Valentine's Day Present From His Vampire Diaries Co-Star Nina Dobrev

Ian Somerhalder Receives A Fantastic Valentine's Day Present From His Vampire Diaries Co-Star Nina Dobrev

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev took a nice drive out to the Hollywood sign where they were sitting in Dobrev's burgundy colored Cadillac Escalade SUV with the personalized license plate Elena G. The two were enjoying the beautif...

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Funny story: Italian cruise ship owners question captain's judgment on CD choice

Italian cruise ship owners question captain's judgment on CD choice

The captain of the cruise ship that capsized off Tuscany has been accused by his company of taking an unauthorized diversion that led to the crash. Pier Luigi Luigi, the chairman of Cost-A-Concorde, laid the blame for the tragedy at the feet of ca...

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Funny story: Fukushima: The Musical

Fukushima: The Musical

The disaster at Fukushima, that saw much of the East coast of Japan destroyed and millions left homeless, is to be dramatised in a new musical production it was announced today. The all-star cast will include Justin Bieber as the forty-three year...

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Funny story: Celine Dion Releases Twins Into Wild

Celine Dion Releases Twins Into Wild

Doctors and nature preserverists have confirmed that Celine Dion's newborn twins boys, Damian and Beezelbub, have been released into a Long Island, NY nature preserve. "This breed does not thrive in captivity," said David Kessler of the Environmen...

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Funny story: Celine Dion Gives Birth to The Anti-Christ, and its Brother.

Celine Dion Gives Birth to The Anti-Christ, and its Brother.

The apocalypse is now one hideous step closer to kicking off 1000 years of Satanic rule, now that revolting pop warbler Celene Dion has given birth to the AntiChrist, and its brother, Keith. "The Archbishop of Wales has announced that Ms. Dion iss...

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Funny story: Male Gay Community Verklempt over Cher Leaving Vegas Act

Male Gay Community Verklempt over Cher Leaving Vegas Act

Cher announced today that her fabulous 3-year run at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas is almost at a close, and you could almost hear teeth biting bare knuckles as gay men all over the world reacted horribly to the news. "Oh my gawd," exclaimed Javier...

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