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Funny satire stories about Weight Loss

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Funny story: Government redefines 'vegetable' to tackle obesity

Government redefines 'vegetable' to tackle obesity

The current drive to reduce obesity took a strange turn today. Mike Okesflat, Health Minister, told us that, rather than get people to eat less and exercise more, they would simply redefine the meaning of 'vegetable'. "We all know that you hav…

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Funny story: Vagueness of Vegas

Vagueness of Vegas

In yet another of our hard hitting yet softly satisfying interviews we asked international comedic superstar, Johnny Vegas, for the secrets behind his dramatic weight loss. Johnny, who has lost “loads of weight” in the last year, clearly wasn’t th...

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Funny story: PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

PANTS DOWN! Big Food Was Behind Invention of Stretch Denim

If you're a blue-jeans-wearing kind of gal (or guy), then you're aware of the fashion revolution that is stretch denim – but what you may not know is that the research and development of stretch denim was funded by Big Food (namely, Nestle, McDonald'...

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Funny story: Charleston Woman Finds Success with Intermittent Fasting Between Meals

Charleston Woman Finds Success with Intermittent Fasting Between Meals

After years of yo-yo dieting and struggling with her weight, 28-year-old Kendra Burke of Charleston, South Carolina, says that she's found success with intermittent fasting between meals. Intermittent fasting, currently one of the world's most pop...

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Funny story: Michelin Man's Comment Draws The Ire Of Fellow Corporate Mascots

Michelin Man's Comment Draws The Ire Of Fellow Corporate Mascots

The Michelin Man has always been synonymous with tires. He's also been mutual for being dramatically over-weight in a culture that worships 'the body beautiful'. But on Tuesday, the Michelin Man, during a press conference to announce Michelin's...

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Funny story: McDonald's: Thanks for the Weight Loss!

McDonald's: Thanks for the Weight Loss!

In Raleigh, NC, Merab Morgan pulled off something astonishing by losing 37 pounds on a diet based solely on McDonald's food. She said, "I thought it's two birds with one stone - to lose weight and prove a point for the little fat people." She...

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Funny story: After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

After local man reads foreign food label with kilocalorie counts instead of calorie counts, extreme diet leads to death

Washington, D.C. - Excess calorie intake is the primary contributor to the obesity epidemic plaguing most developed nations, but eating a minimum level of calories is key to life and longevity. We all know that we should eat about 2,000 calories per...

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Funny story: Comcast subscribers experience weight loss, scientific study reveals

Comcast subscribers experience weight loss, scientific study reveals

Subscribers to Comcast are likely to lose weight, the National Institute of Weight Loss found. The finding holds true for obese and non obese adults. The NIWL is recommending that doctors instruct their overweight patients to sign up with Comcast...

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Funny story: The Internationally Acclaimed Ballast Diet Is Explained By Its Creator

The Internationally Acclaimed Ballast Diet Is Explained By Its Creator

The Ballast diet has taken the international slimming world by storm. Below is a transcript of a recent, rare radio interview with its creator, Professor Swan Morrison, in which he discusses the scheme in unprecedented detail. ~*~*~*~*~*~ 'Hello Professor Morrison and welcome to the Breakfast Radio Show.' 'Thank you for inviting me onto your programme.' 'You've invented a revolutionar...

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Funny story: Cold and Fever Exchange New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight and Gain Weight, Respectively

Cold and Fever Exchange New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight and Gain Weight, Respectively

At the start of 2016, long-time cohorts Cold and Fever exchanged solemn New Year's resolutions to lose weight and gain weight, respectively. Cold admitted to having really packed on the pounds in recent decades. He pointed to the oft-touted home r...

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Funny story: Man Realizes Area Code Number is the same as his Weight

Man Realizes Area Code Number is the same as his Weight

Los Angeles, CA - It was an exciting day for Ernesto Lopez when he went to his doctor for a routine checkup. After being weighed by one of the nurses, the 32 year old man realized that his weight was the same number as his area code, 310. "...

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Funny story: Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.

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Funny story: Slimmer Kirstie Alley Spotted at Paint Store

Slimmer Kirstie Alley Spotted at Paint Store

We tried to get close to her but there were so many cameramen present that we finally pushed ours forward to get some shots. Finally I yelled, "You look great! You look sexy!" She was all smiles and maybe that's why she gave me a few words on h...

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Funny story: A Tremendously Obese Arizona Woman Reveals That She Had Her Lips Stapled

A Tremendously Obese Arizona Woman Reveals That She Had Her Lips Stapled

PHOENIX, Arizona - Saying that all of her life she has been overweight beyond belief, Phoenix resident Olympia Twistboro, 37, decided to finally do something about it. She told National Focus Magazine that she hit the 500 pound mark this past Vale...

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Funny story: Elvis Was On Comeback Trail When He Died

Elvis Was On Comeback Trail When He Died

According to recent material discovered at Graceland Elvis Presley was getting ready for a big comeback tour when he died at his home at Graceland near Memphis, Tennessee. Several of his friends and musicians have claimed this all along but the le...

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Funny story: The Kardashians are even more revolting in real life

The Kardashians are even more revolting in real life

Hollywood was in uproar last night after a celebrity plastic surgeon accidentally revealed that the Kardashians have been sharing their fat. Dr Geoffrey Nipantuck from the Beverly Hills Institute of Veterinarians accidently emailed details of the sis...

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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Loses 50 Pounds And States That Eric Johnson Better Marry Her And Pretty Damn Soon

Jessica Simpson Loses 50 Pounds And States That Eric Johnson Better Marry Her And Pretty Damn Soon

REDONDO BEACH - Jessica Simpson was at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon enjoying the heck out of a plate of Fee Fi Fo Fum Foo Foo with an unnamed lady friend when she was approached by Pia Confetti with Celebrity Globe. Jessica asked Miss Confetti...

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