WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Well it is finally official, the president of the United States has officially condemned Donald Trump’s Dixie Complex.
Boom Boom News said that the Trumptard is fit-to-be-tied and is threatening to talk to his BFF, Russian president Vladimir Putin, and having him talk to President Biden and get him to reverse his decision.
President Biden upon hearing the “Pussy Grabbers” plea to his communist boyfriend, said with a huge grin. “That will happen when Marjorie “Horse Face” Taylor Greene, wins a beauty contest, which is fucking never!”
Hacienda Fiddle with BBN stated that the official reason for Mar-a-Lago being condemned is due to the tremendous Ecuadorian Spider infestation.
Insecticide experts from Michigan stated that they have never seen a worse insect problem than the one at the “Orange Bitches’” home.
A spokesperson for the company, called Insects-Be-Gone, stated that there are anywhere from 27 billion to 29 billion spiders in and around the GOP complex.
SIDENOTE: A Mar-a-Lago maid reportedly overheard Melania say to son Barron, “Hey chugar, less pack up all ub our chit and less geet de effen hell out of dees chithole.”