MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – Trump’s former “Fixer” (Michael Cohen) recently told Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight that things are looking horribly shitty for his ex-boss, the former Asshole-In-Chief, Donaldo Jonathan Trump.
Cohen said that the income tax evasion issue alone could land him in prison until DJT is 109-years-old.
The "Fixer" was quick to point out that Trump's long-legged middle-aged "Barbie Doll," aka Ivanka, could very well find herself in prison as well, for aiding and abetting.
The ex-Fixer then added that even one of his three current girlfriends, Marjorie Taylor Greene, recently told her ex-lover Matt “Potato Face” Gaetz, that she no longer thinks that the “Orange Bozo” hung the moon.
Meanwhile, Trump ass-kisser Florida governor Ron DeSantis still says that Trump is the smartest, cutest, sexiest man-bitch in the GOP party.