MAR-a-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – Ivanka Trump is worried shitless as she cannot find her daddy, aka “The Pussy Grabber.”
The 6-foot-tall daughter of Donald and Matilda Elmira Trump says that she last saw her father in Mar-a-Lago’s Emperor Hirohito Commemorative Dining Room eating four Big Macs and a family order of McFries.
"Vanny," as her daddy calls her said that the former “Golfer-in-Chief” complimented her on her brand new Daisy Duke short shorts, kissed her on the mouth, patted her on her ass, and went back to chomping on his Big Macs and McFries.
One of Ivanka’s 9 Secret Service agents reportedly heard that the Trumptard was seen coming out of Hope Hick’s double-wide trailer in Key West, Florida, at 4:35 am.
39-yar-old Ivanka recently told Anderson Cooper that she is angry as hell at the rumor that Hopey (as Trump calls Hicks) could possibly become her step-mother.
Meanwhile Eric and Donald Jr., are reportedly both salivating at the thought of having the hot, sexy, gorgeously erotic Hope as their new step-mommy.