KEY WEST, Florida – (Satire News) – Someone once said that if Donald Trump ever goes two hours without telling a damn lie, he’ll probably pass out from hyperfifalosis.
His wife Melania, an ex-lingerie model, said that if she had a nickel for every damn lie that Donaldo has told, she’d have 31,893 nickels.
The Trumptard played golf recently at The Sons of The Confederacy Golf Course in Key West.
Members of his foursome included sons Eric “The Dummy” Trump, Donald “Dopey” Trump, Jr., and Trump’s main squeeze the lasciviously lascivious Hope Hicks.
The four were followed around the golf course by a contingent of 17 Secret Service Agents, an official Mar-a-Lago photographer, and a man in a golf cart loaded with Big Macs, Chicken McNuggets, and Diet Cokes.
When a reporter for The Houston Daily Driller asked how his game was going, he smiled, took a bite of his Big Mac and replied that he had just shot a hole-in-one on the 14th hole.
The reporter informed him that it actually took him 7 shots to get the ball in the hole.
Trump turned even more orange than he already is and he immediately had one of the Secret Service agents arrest him on the spot.
Two agents walked the reporter to the parking lot and they agreed to let him go, but only if he promised to vote for DJT in the next election.