WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Many close friends of the Trump family have said off-the-record that Donald’s niece Mary Trump is the only member of the family who isn’t an arrogant, sarcastic, hateful, racist piece-of-crap.
Mary Trump, who is 56, recently told Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Gazebo Serengeti, that she places her fat-ass, orange-complected uncle in the same category as SOB’s like Hitler, Hirohito, Stalin, and the two shithead governors Ron DeSantis (Florida) and Greg Abbott (Texas).
When asked if she believes that the former “Pervert-in-Chief” will end up in prison, she grinned like the California cat that swallowed the Connecticut canary, and said that she is as sure that “Uncle Pussy Grabber” will end up wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, as she is about molten lava being hot-as-hell!
The Trumptard’s niece told Serengeti that she is thrilled, honored, and as happy-as-the-dickens to have been chosen by President Biden to be a CIA advisor.
She pointed out that in her capacity she will be working closely with the New York state attorney general's office in compiling, categorizing, and validating the hundreds and hundreds of underhanded tax doings that her uncle, along with children Ivanka, Donald Jr., and Eric committed.
She laughingly said that by the time it’s all over, the Trump’s may all end up in Sing Sing Prison under the “Go To Prison Family Plan.”