AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The Austin Texan World newspaper is reporting that Greg Abbott, who is the most hated governor in the history of the Lone Star State, recently told his BFF Sean Hannity that he will take money from the states Food Stamp Program, The Veterans of Viet Nam Fund, and The Blue-Haired Republican Ladies Agency, and he is going to build a wall between Texas and Guatemala.
When reporters told him that Texas does not border Guatemala, he turned as pink as an Iowa flamingo, and said that he would have to get back with them on that.
An hour later, Abbott the Wabbit, as many, many people, including GOPers call him, corrected himself and said that he meant to say between Texas and Costa Rica.
He then revealed that the wall will be 70 feet 3 inches tall, it will be made of reconstituted particle board imported from Iraq, and it will cost $87.4 billion dollars.
When asked which company is building it, he replied that the wall will be built by the best wall building company in Texas, The Hell-of-A-Wall Wall Company.
When asked by reporters who owns this company, Abbott replied that it really isn’t important and to be honest it’s no one’s effen business.
He was asked if he is the owner of The Hell-of-A-Wall Wall Company.
After coughing for what seemed like 52 seconds, he replied, “Yes, I’m the owner and the proud owner I might add.”
Several of the assembled reporters began chanting “Bullshit!, bullshit!, bullshit!”
And Abbot responded by saying that if they don’t like it, they can move to Oklahoma, Rhode Island, or Pisagovia.
Meanwhile, the governor’s wife, said that she is going to check the security camera’s to find out who pelted their governor’s mansion overnight with over 200 ostrich eggs.