NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – In what political pundits are calling a concerted effort to save his ass and keep from going to prison, Ivanka’s wimpish husband, Jared Kushner, has flipped on his daddy-in-law.
Jared "Sissy Britches" Kushner has allegedly told federal investigators about the dozens and dozens of tax-related shenanigans that his wife's father has committed over the course of decades.
Kushy, as Melania calls him, has also thrown the Trumptard under the bus regarding many of alleged affairs with the likes of Maria Bartiromo, Marjorie Taylor Hicks, Ann Coulter, Ling Ling McConnell, and of course the woman, he says will one day be the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump, the sensuously sexy Hope "Lips & Hips" Hicks.
A close friend of Kushner’s said that the Trumptard’s daughter Ivanka has said that she and her allegedly impotent hubby have decided to embrace the old Norwegian adage of every man (or woman) for himself or herself.
Ivanka recently told her half-sister Tiffany Trump that she has not talked nor texted her father in over two weeks.
The 6-foot-tall human giraffe, as late night talk show host refer to her, has admitted that she is seeing three different psychiatrists to try and get her shit together.
Meanwhile Jared, aka Mr. Ivanka Trump, confided to one of his rich cousins that he is so scared he pees in his pants at least seven times a day.
