MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – Several news agencies are reporting that D.J. Trump’s favorite child has decided that she wants to move to California.
Ivanka Trump, 39, confided to her half-sister Tiffany Maples-Trump that she is sick and tired of her father’s handsy antics.
She told Tiff that at first she thought it was sweet and cute, but now she is beginning to feel that it is just simply perverted.
Ivanka recalled that once during the last presidential campaign in Iowa, her father whispered in her ear, “Hey Storm, how about a big old kiss.”
And so Miss Ivanka will be moving her family to the Left Coast, far, far away from, as Joy Behar calls him, that evil-looking, nazi-loving orange piece of baboon shit.
Meanwhile, Eric Trump said that he feels that his sister is merely exaggerating and over-reacting by pointing out that his father has never once tried to kiss him on the mouth, give him a big, tight bear hug, or cop a feel on his ass.