WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Unconfirmed reports state that the former Divider-in-Chief snuck back into Washington, D.C. under the cover of night to pick up some things he had stored in a storage unit facility.
Unnamed sources say that Trumparino wanted to get some ‘buy one get one free gift certificates' for McDonalds Big Macs, plus his personally autographed book by Adolf Hitler titled, “Heil Hitler My Homeys,” and half a dozen or so of Melania’s crotch-less panties.
The Golden Golf Guy, as Donald “Dopey” Trump Jr. calls his father commented his daddy is planning on suing both the Golden State Warriors and The Los Angeles Lakers for snubbing his White House invitation.
Melania’s hubby said that he hates that they made him waste over $115 on Big Macs, Chicken McNuggets, and ketchup packets, that went uneaten.
SIDENOTE: Reports are that Kimberly Guilfoyle, who wants to become Mrs. Donnie Trump Jr. real, real bad, said that she has a gift for rubbing heads and making the pain go away, if DJT is interested.