A Tattoo Parlor in Petaluma is Making a Killing Tattooing Vaginas

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 28 May 2021


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for A Tattoo Parlor in Petaluma is Making a Killing Tattooing Vaginas
Jolene Borapello told Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle that she actually tattooed her own vagina.

PETALUMA, California – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News is reporting that now that people are out venturing again a new intimate trend has emerged.

BBN’s Hacienda Fiddle visited one of the most popular tattoo parlors in Northern California and spoke with the owners Millard and Jolene Borapello.

The Borapello’s have owned The By The Skin of Your Teeth Tattoo Parlor since 2013, when it was left to Jolene by her grandmother Elvira “The Ink Queen” Bockentit.

Jolene said that before the Coronavirus, they were tattooing an average of 40 individuals a day, and now post-COVID-19, that number has doubled, up to 80.

Millard stated that people are just wanting to show their independence and make statements of freedom, joy, merriment, and some are libido-driven.

He noted that amazingly enough women clients have increased by 304%, and the interesting thing is that they are not getting the usual, common tramp stamps, leg ink, or arm and chest ink.

Millard divulged that every day they get at least 16 women who request vagina tattoos.

He noted that the publication TattooLand Illustrated wrote that the Borapello’s tattoo parlor, tattoos more hoohas than the next ten national tattoo parlors combined.

When asked what they attribute that to, Jolene said that there are several reasons. For one, Millard is a very handsome, dashing, debonair man who relaxes every woman by telling her that her vagina is absolutely gorgeous.

Secondly, we provide our clients with free beer or wine. Thirdly, we give all our guests all the pizza they can eat, and lastly we offer them the finest marijuana in the entire state – Durango Bango; all at no charge.

The average cost for a vaginal tattoo is $215 plus tax.

SIDENOTE: The Borapellos are already making plans to open up two more tattoo parlors, one in Brooklyn, New York and one in Alligator Nuts, Florida.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more