CHICAGO – (Sports Satire) – The city of Chicago is rocking and rolling like never before at the announcement that the greatest NBA player to ever dribble a basketball is returning to the court.
Yes, Sports Bet Gazette reporter Zorro La Bamba has just broken the scoop that the super human Michael Jordan (#23) has agreed to come out of retirement and return to the Windy City.
Michael will be paid $19 million for the 2022 NBA season.
Super Mike was also given several special perks by the Bulls organization. For one Michael will not have to fly on the team plane with the players and coaches, as he is being provided with a high-flying Lear Jet.
Secondly, instead of having to sit on the hard, cold bench, he will be provided with a LA-Z-BOY Ultra Fine 7000 state-of-the-art recliner, and he will be allowed to snack on his favorite food Cheetos as he sits in his recliner on the sideline.
And thirdly, if towards the end of the game, the Bulls are leading by 8 or more points Michael will be allowed to leave the court in order to avoid the crowd rush.
SIDENOTE: The Chicago Bulls organization is denying the rumor that due to Jordan returning they are going to double their ticket prices. They did note, however that beer, sodas, hot dogs, peanuts, egg rolls, tequila, nachos, and foam fingers will all triple in price.