NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Rumors are swirling all over Manhattan that Fox News hate-spewer, Tucker “Creepy” Carlson is actually the son of former president Trump.
The National Explainer has just uncovered hospital documents that show that Tucker is the product of a carnal laison between Trump and a woman who used to be his golf caddy 51 years ago.
The woman who is believed to be either Melody Mae Finksinger, 70, or Shirley Ann McOnion, 69, has the same freaky grin that Carlson has.
The president when told about the possibility of Tucker being his own flesh and blood, replied that it was stupid because everyone knows that his last name is Trump, and Tucker’s last name is Carlson.
When told that both have the same exact strawberry birthmark on their right gonad, Trump said that he knows hundreds of guys who have the same exact birthmark as he and Tucker do.
Meanwhile Ivanka and Donald Jr. told Sean Hannity that Tucker Carlson is just trying to get his hands on some of the Trump family’s billions as well as on their Trump Steaks, and Trump Brand Condoms.
