NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The New York World Register and hundreds of other news publications are all asking the head-shaking question, “What in the world was Jeffrey Toobin thinking?”
Toobin, who was a well-respected writer for the New Yorker, as well as the chief legal analyst for CNN, was caught playing with his salami during an official conference call.
Jeffrey explained that he was drinking a cup of coffee and spilled it on his pants.
He said he took his pants off and began shaking the coffee out of his crotch, and, as a result, he may have grabbed his pecker by mistake.
He told CNN security that he certainly did not mean to “J.O.”, especially since he’s married, and can have his wife give him some relief anytime he wants - even at 3 a.m.
When CNN host Don Lemon heard about the “Little Toobin” grabbing incident, he remarked, “Oh my, that is so disgusting…perchance is there a video?”
Anderson Cooper giggled and said that he saw the video about 8 times, and he got a kick out of playing it in reverse.
Meanwhile, CNN chief political correspondent Dana Bash, remarked, “Damn, I have never, ever seen a weiner with so many freckles.”