COTTON BALLS, Georgia – (Satire News) – Fox News is reporting that after going through 672 possible choices to fill the Supreme Court seat, Trump has finally decided on Amy Conehead Barrett.
Barrett, who is 48, but looks 53, is a mother of 13 children, including one from Zimbabwe, one from Botswana, and one from Minneapolis.
The dishwater blonde is a divorce attorney who proudly boasts that she has broken up 2,903 marriages, which affected over 7,200 children.
CNN's Don Lemon spoke briefly with Barrett and said he was not at all impressed with the size 13-shoe-wearing woman.
Lemon pointed out that Amy has a horrible habit of over-chewing her gum, and actually purposely popping it, kind of like a 14-year-old California valley girl would do.
The man that Trump calls "The Black Shadow" added that he was really surprised that “The Divider-in-Chief” chose Barrett, since she clearly has way bigger hands, than Donald's little bitty toddler hands.