VENUS FLYTRAP, North Carolina – (Satire News) – Weeks after the presidential debate, President Trump is still claiming that he won the biggest presidential debate going all the way back to George Washington and Ebenezer Follicle.
Trump, who is still bitter, told the North Carolina audience he not only defeated Joe Biden, he also defeated the Fox News moderator Chris Wallace, and the entire audience that were all Biden plants.
POTUS commented that Biden and Wallace ganged up on him like a WWE tag team.
Trump told his MAGA base that Wallace is a fake moderator, who sold Joe Biden the answers to all of the 47 debate questions for $850.
The president was later asked by CNN's Jim Acosta why he had not denounced white extremist groups like the Proud Boys, who are a far-right racist organization.
Trump said that it is really none of his or anyone else's damn business.
The president then really shocked Acosta when he told him that he has accepted an invitation to speak at the next national meeting of the Proud Boys.
The CNN reporter told him that they're evil.
Trump said they're just guys, who are good people, and some are even really, really good people.
In Other News: First lady Melania Trump is reportedly still texting with a certain NBA player.