CHICAGO – (Satire News) - Hip-hop artist Cardi B was in the “Windy City” picking up two solid gold nipple rings she had ordered.
She was asked by a reporter with the Chicago Daily Wind newspaper, about her getting a text from Eric Trump.
Cardi B replied, "Yeah, shuga, dat be totally truly true yessy yes it be."
The hip-hop singer, whose real name is Belcalis Marlenis Papaya Almanzar, informed the Daily Wind, that Eric told her how much he admired her humongously gigantic butt.
He also said the he loved her haunting ballad about zombies and atheists, titled “Hey Zombie Twats Gitcher Mugs Away From My Hippity-Hopping Booty.”
Eric asked her if she could send him an autographed photo of her in her infamous rainbow-colored teddy.
Cardi B replied that she would agree to send him the photo, but only if he would promise to tell his daddy to stop being such a damn, heartless, cruel, evil racist.
The Chicago Daily Wind reports that Eric texted her back saying that he’ll pass the message on to his daddy, as soon as the President gets back from yet another round of golf.