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Funny satire stories about paedophiles

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Funny story: Tropical Storm Humberto - A Danger To Young Girls

Tropical Storm Humberto - A Danger To Young Girls

Tropical Storm Humberto has gained strength overnight, and is likely to be reclassified as a hurricane this morning, according to a tweet posted just minutes ago by President Donald Trump. Mr Trump also stated that Hurricane Humberto would be a da...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Is Going To Smash Prince Andrew's Face In, If He Sees Him

Harry Maguire Is Going To Smash Prince Andrew's Face In, If He Sees Him

As the Jeffrey Epstein paedophile case rages on, even after the mysterious death of the former financier, Manchester United defender Harry Maguire Is rumoured to have said that he is so disgusted with Epstein's former friend, Prince Andrew, that he i...

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Funny story: Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably

Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably

Tesla, Spacex, Neuralink and Paypal founder, architect, chief executive, cowboy executive, indian executive, producer, director, judge, jury and executioner Elon Musk has gone back on the offensive against a man whom he believes, for a reason he has...

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Funny story: Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer

Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer

The world of criminal investigation was cockahoop today after billionaire fish-faced eccentric Elon Musk revealed his latest invention. At a press conference, Musk wore one of his new prosthetic noses and was able to identify three members of the pre...

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Funny story: Littlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)

Littlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)

Last time, Richard Littlejohn boldly and courageously vindicated the honour of some boring, dusty Athenian smart-arse that nobody gives a crap about. Nope! I don't mean that postmodern ivory tower casino economics dude from Syriza, but if the cap fits… Oh wait, that was a bit stereotypically "right-wing" wasn't it? Must be catching, huh? Yes, in my last column, I was long-windedly holding...

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Funny story: Brighton Pier won't be charged with sex offences

Brighton Pier won't be charged with sex offences

Brighton, West Sussex - Despite sackfuls of evidence of what really went on in the back of its dodgem bumper cars the UK's premier pleasure pier will not be charged with decades of kiddy-fiddling. This morning Crown Prosecutors admitted they'd bl...

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Funny story: BBC beef up Job Application form to weed out perverts

BBC beef up Job Application form to weed out perverts

The BBC' s human resources department has admitted changing its job application form for the first time in 50 years. Wendy Attenborough, Head of HR, explained that the BBC set up a panel of Stake Holders in November last year, in light of paedophile...

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Funny story: Monster Mansion Opens Evil Celebrity Wing

Monster Mansion Opens Evil Celebrity Wing

Wakefield Prison in Yorkshire dubbed Monster Mansion because of the particularly evil serial killers and brutal murderers held inside its grounds is building a special Celebrity Beast wing to hold the influx of once liked but now hated famous people...

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Funny story: Ex: "I Knew Deep Down About Ian Watkins"

Ex: "I Knew Deep Down About Ian Watkins"

Contrary to recent news, an ex girlfriend of Ian Watkins today revealed that she always had a "strange feeling" about his sexual preferences, with the singer now serving 39 years in prison for various sex offences against children. Ian Watkins, fo...

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Funny story: Dead Paedophile Sir Jim to Spin Discs at Dead Paedophile Concert

Dead Paedophile Sir Jim to Spin Discs at Dead Paedophile Concert

Impressarios have been queuing up to put on a Hi-Tech Hologram Show featuring a posthumous album release by a dead druggie paedophile. The paedophile cannot be named as his family sue the ass off anything that moves. Leading Necro-pervert D.J. S...

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Funny story: Swan attacks the Queen

Swan attacks the Queen

Wayne Swan, Australia's cleverest dyslexic Treasurer, has re-opened the debate about the country becoming a republic. "When Britain was an empire it had an emperor. When it was a kingdom, it had a king. Now Australia's got Julia Gillard we must becom...

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Funny story: Paedophiles gearing up for their national holiday

Paedophiles gearing up for their national holiday

Parents are warned to keep a close eye on their children this Halloween and accompany them on their Trick or Treating. "A lot of paedophiles see Halloween as Home Delivery Night," said DI Henry Hoover of Dorking CID. "We'd like to ensure that this...

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Funny story: News Of The World Closes: Rates of Paedophilia Increase

News Of The World Closes: Rates of Paedophilia Increase

Rates of sexual crime against children have risen since the closure of The News Of The World, a new report indicates. In July Rupert Murdoch's best-selling newspaper closed down over phone-whacking. The NOTW led the UK in paedophile entrapment, of...

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Funny story: Children's Entertainer arrested

Children's Entertainer arrested

Rosso Naso, a Children's Entertainer from Basingstoke has been arrested today after admitting that he liked children. "It's disgusting," said local mum, Samantha Panther. "Grown men shouldn't be allowed into a profession where they have contact wi...

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Funny story: UK Government Law Proposal Angers Paedophiles

UK Government Law Proposal Angers Paedophiles

The government have proposed to implement a 'child ban' throughout the whole of England and Wales. Current laws mean that children can freely roam the streets, live in houses and flats, attend schools, play on swings and generally be a temptation to...

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Funny story: Gay Man Gives Young Boys Advice About Paedophile Groomers

Gay Man Gives Young Boys Advice About Paedophile Groomers

A gay man in Texas has been praised for his efforts in working with local children who have suffered various forms of abuse from paedophile groomers on the internet. Larry Sabu, 20, started working with the children three months ago, and has alrea...

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Funny story: School dinner lady in child grooming scandal

School dinner lady in child grooming scandal

A dinner lady at a primary school in County Durham has not worked for two years, after being warned that her actions could be construed as grooming a child. Mrs Dot Lavatory, 97, was witnessed by a supervisor offering a skinny looking kid an extra...

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