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Funny satire stories about paedophiles

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Funny story: Prince Andrew's Sphincter Is Twitching

Prince Andrew's Sphincter Is Twitching

Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, has complained to his mummy that his bum-bum is itching, and that he would like her to put some cream on it. But, say experts, the irritation is not something that can be resolved by rubbing cream on it, however fu...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

After yesterday's news that Prince Andrew had been advised to submit himself to making legal testimony before a US court, and with more and more of the Duke of York's business associates disassociating themselves from him and his projects, the Prince...

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Funny story: Ghislaine Maxwell Spotted In Fish Shop

Ghislaine Maxwell Spotted In Fish Shop

A woman answering the description of Prince Andrew's friend, and former financier, Jeffrey Epstein's girlfriend, Ghislaine Maxwell, has been seen in a fish-and-chip shop in the Old Kent Road, sparking a large hunt. Or womanhunt. Maxwell is the wom...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew Has Decided To Go And Live On Pitcairn Island

Prince Andrew Has Decided To Go And Live On Pitcairn Island

Prince Andrew, the poor, beleaguered member of the Royal family who the media just won't leave alone after he indulged in 'a bit of the old in-out' with an underaged American girl in 2001, has decided that enough is enough, and that he will leave Lon...

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Funny story: TheSpoof.com To End Its Association With Prince Andrew

TheSpoof.com To End Its Association With Prince Andrew

In the last few minutes, it's been revealed that, due to the ongoing furore with regard to some rather potentially damaging underage sex allegations, the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has decided to drop all its current associations with the ar...

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Funny story: Pizza Express CCTV Security Tapes Have Been Stolen

Pizza Express CCTV Security Tapes Have Been Stolen

CCTV security tapes containing footage which could have proved crucial in ascertaining whether or not Prince Andrew visited the Woking branch of Pizza Express on 10 March 2001, have been stolen, says the shop's manager. The Prince faces accusation...

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Funny story: Pizza Express In Woking Have Never Heard Of Prince Andrew

Pizza Express In Woking Have Never Heard Of Prince Andrew

The manager of the Woking branch of Pizza Express, where Prince Andrew says he spent time with his daughter Beatrice on the day American woman Virginia Roberts claims he was raping her, has said he has never heard of the Royal. Branch manager, Gil...

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Funny story: Queen Says She Doesn't Believe Prince Andrew Did It

Queen Says She Doesn't Believe Prince Andrew Did It

Her Majesty the Queen has said that she doesn't believe for one minute that her grandson, Prince Andrew, could have been involved in any sexual activity with an underaged 17-year-old girl in 2001, when he was 41 years old, and is prepared to stake he...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew Digs A Big Hole, Then Gets Into It

Prince Andrew Digs A Big Hole, Then Gets Into It

Prince Andrew, the former friend of former person, Jeffrey Epstein, spoke to the BBC's Emily Maitlis on Friday, and tried to explain his side of the story with regard to indulging in an underage sex romp with a girl who was just 17. But it didn't...

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Funny story: Tropical Storm Humberto - A Danger To Young Girls

Tropical Storm Humberto - A Danger To Young Girls

Tropical Storm Humberto has gained strength overnight, and is likely to be reclassified as a hurricane this morning, according to a tweet posted just minutes ago by President Donald Trump. Mr Trump also stated that Hurricane Humberto would be a da...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Is Going To Smash Prince Andrew's Face In, If He Sees Him

Harry Maguire Is Going To Smash Prince Andrew's Face In, If He Sees Him

As the Jeffrey Epstein paedophile case rages on, even after the mysterious death of the former financier, Manchester United defender Harry Maguire Is rumoured to have said that he is so disgusted with Epstein's former friend, Prince Andrew, that he i...

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Funny story: Jeffrey Epstein To Be Charged With His Own Murder

Jeffrey Epstein To Be Charged With His Own Murder

Things just keep on getting worse and worse for disgraced former financier, Jeffrey Epstein, who, after he had been arrested and held for sexual offences against children, then wound up dead, and, this morning, was charged with his own murder by stra...

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Funny story: Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably

Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably

Tesla, Spacex, Neuralink and Paypal founder, architect, chief executive, cowboy executive, indian executive, producer, director, judge, jury and executioner Elon Musk has gone back on the offensive against a man whom he believes, for a reason he has...

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Funny story: Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer

Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer

The world of criminal investigation was cockahoop today after billionaire fish-faced eccentric Elon Musk revealed his latest invention. At a press conference, Musk wore one of his new prosthetic noses and was able to identify three members of the pre...

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Funny story: Littlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)

Littlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)

Last time, Richard Littlejohn boldly and courageously vindicated the honour of some boring, dusty Athenian smart-arse that nobody gives a crap about. Nope! I don't mean that postmodern ivory tower casino economics dude from Syriza, but if the cap fits… Oh wait, that was a bit stereotypically "right-wing" wasn't it? Must be catching, huh? Yes, in my last column, I was long-windedly holding...

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Funny story: Brighton Pier won't be charged with sex offences

Brighton Pier won't be charged with sex offences

Brighton, West Sussex - Despite sackfuls of evidence of what really went on in the back of its dodgem bumper cars the UK's premier pleasure pier will not be charged with decades of kiddy-fiddling. This morning Crown Prosecutors admitted they'd bl...

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Funny story: BBC beef up Job Application form to weed out perverts

BBC beef up Job Application form to weed out perverts

The BBC' s human resources department has admitted changing its job application form for the first time in 50 years. Wendy Attenborough, Head of HR, explained that the BBC set up a panel of Stake Holders in November last year, in light of paedophile...

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