Gwen Stefani Says She Hopes to Be Mrs. Blake Shelton by Thanksgiving Day

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 13 August 2020

image for Gwen Stefani Says She Hopes to Be Mrs. Blake Shelton by Thanksgiving Day
Gwen Stefani is 50 and her boyfriend Blake Shelton is 44.

NASHVILLE – (Music Satire) - Gwen Stefani was in Nashville getting her hair done, when she was approached by a reporter with the Rolling Stone.

The country singer was asked how her minor surgery had gone. She replied that it went great, and that her uvula is now back where it's supposed to be.

She said that her boyfriend, Blake Shelton, had knocked it out of whack during a recent passionate make-out session they had in Blake’s barn.

Rolling Stone asked her when we could expect to hear backwoods wedding bells.

She smiled, licked her lips, and replied that she has been working on that hard-drinking, Okie cowpoke for months, and thinks that they're now getting a little bit closer to going out and buying the rice.

The 50-year-old singer said that she hopes to be Mrs. Blake Shelton by Turkey Day.

Gwen rolled her eyes, and said that she's not getting any younger, and her ovaries are getting pretty darn close to the expiration date.

She told the music magazine that, since she and Blake have been sheltering-in-place, they have written eight songs.

Gwen revealed that five are about lovers, one is about a pick-up truck, one is about rotating the crops, and one is about Blake's ex-wife, Miranda Lambert.

Ms. Stefani was asked for the title of the song about Miranda. She blushed a bit, and said that Blake titled it "The Bawdy Ballad of The Ornery Country Munchkin."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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