After the passing of rock legend Meat Loaf, a lost interview has finally given fans the answer to the question: Just what was it that he wouldn't do for love? "I'll never record a song with fewer than an average of twelve words in the title, or t…
WEST HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Tinsel Town is on fire with the latest alleged rumor that Miley Cyrus has confessed to her close friend Andy Cohen, that she is considering having sexual reassignment surgery. iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli lear…
LAS VEGAS – (Celebrity Satire) – Celine Dion has just admitted that, yes, it’s true, she is now down to 67 pounds. The Canadian songbird remarked that she has been border-line anorexic since 2007, and just since September, she has become totally a…
MIAMI – The young pop singing sensation, Ariana Grande, is proving that good things definitely do come in small packages. The pint-sized songstress has broken all kinds of music records, and truly stands out with her 4-octave vocal range, her 153…
FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida – The petite singer, Ariana Grande, who has won just about every music award possible, says that she is feeling a bit on the semi-depressed side. Grande, who stands 5-foot-1-inch tall, told the iRumors News Agency that,...
NEW YORK CITY - The popular female singer known as Lady Gaga has just informed the music world that she has decided to change her professional name. Lady Gaga, whose real name is Joanne Angelina Germanotta, said that she now realizes that the name...
MONTECITO HEIGHTS, California – Demi Lovato has certainly had her share of ups and downs, and she recently spoke with Vox Populi News Agency’s reporter Ichabod Fernandez. Lovato and Fernandez talked at the popular Lower 40 Steak House in Montecito...
CHICAGO – Shakira was in Chicago to perform at a sold-out concert at The Al Capone Commemorative Coliseum. She talked to Ipso Facto Illustrated Magazine reporter Sigmund Cottonseed. The Colombian firecracker, who is 43, told him that, since her a...
NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift is not the least bit shy when it comes to pointing out that Tennessee Senator Marsha “The Plump Trump Ass-Kisser” Blackburn has gone and stepped in a pile of Tennessee thoroughbred horse manure (or shit, as they call it in Ar...
Last evening, as the shadows were growing longer and the sun was on the verge of giving up hope completely, singer-songwriter Luke Crosby of Nashville, Tennessee, received some extremely bad news over the telephone line: he learned that his baby had...
Crooners International stand proud today when President Trump announces his real calling in life and the fact he finally feels happy talking about his true vocation: Crooning. We spoke to an insider who risked his job (so we can’t say who) but nee...
HARFOLD, Vt. - As the world mourns the death of singer Prince, who died this week due to complications following an overdose, Harfold State College has released a startling finding. Although most of the Western world has been rendered incapacitate...
New York, NY - Crooner Icon, Tony Bennett, had to undergo emergency rotator cuff surgery on his right shoulder this week, and reps for the 89-year-old singer are squarely blaming new sidekick, Lady Gaga, for the debilitating ailment. The two singers...
Lana Del Ray (no, we don't know who she is either) has sensationally admitted to sleeping her way around the music industry. The singer (?) said: "I have slept a lot of guys in the industry but none of them helped me get my record deals." Learning of this amazing news BATTL news hastily arranged a interview with her to find out the truth behind the statement. We also took a guitar along...
Atlanta, GA, USA - Despite a decades-long effort, the Coca-Cola company has not yet built the world a home or taught the world to sing in perfect harmony. The company's efforts began in 1971 with a television commercial featuring a multi-cultural gro...
TAMPA, Florida - It appears that Miley's parents never told their little moneymaker about sunblock. The "Wrecking Ball" singer took to the sun and sand and ended up with sunburn and a Picasso painting shaped bruise on her caboose. Miley was ask...
"Mary Jane and me may get married again as she's the best wife I ever had," Hank Williams Jr. told a friend the other day so we sent over someone to see him, if he was in shape to talk. "Yeah, I might as well tell the world stupid world that it wa...
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