John Wayne Was A Woman

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 3 April 2020

image for John Wayne Was A Woman
Richard Widmark (left) and Duck holding hands (Rio Bravo 1960)

Extraordinary news coming out of Hollywood last night, was that the actor, John Wayne, who played so many 'tough guy' roles in Westerns before he died in 1979, was not a 'guy' after all, but a gal. Or, rather, a dame.

Shocking to many people, the news will come as no surprise to the star's fans, who have managed to keep their suspicions in check ever since they found out his real name was Marion.

Her name, that should be.

Wayne starred, amongst other movies, in 'Stagecoach', 'True Grit', 'The Woman Who Shot Liberty Valance' and 'Wayne's World', and always put on a drawling accent to divert attention away from the fact that, if you looked closely, you could see that he was wearing a bra.

Secretly known amongst fellow thespians as 'the Duchess', he is also fondly remembered not so much as "a ladies' man", but as "a men's lady".

There can be be no doubt, however, that, whatever Wayne's gender, she was one of the finest actresses of her generation, and will always be remembered for her catchphrase:

"A woman's godda do, wodda woman's godda do."

There is absolutely no evidence that Marion was a lesbian.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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