Hotel Had Perfectly Good Reason To Reject Homeless People

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 19 December 2018

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Can yer lenduz 50p forra cuppa coffee?

A hotel in Hull that cancelled the Christmas holiday booking of some of its rooms, after initially agreeing to the booking, claims it had a perfectly good reason to do so.

The Royal Hotel in Hull initially accepted a booking by the Hull Homeless and Rootless Project for 28 homeless people to stay in the hotel, but changed its mind on Monday.

Hotel manager, Ron Grimsdyke, said:

"Some of them came by early asking if they could upgrade their rooms, and when staff told them their rooms had already been allocated, they started to get a bit uppity."

According to staff at the hotel, several of the homeless group then sat around in the hotel lobby, and engaged in homeless activities, such as begging. Some drank cider from bottles, whilst others injected drugs. Some lurched from side-to-side, zombie-like, mumbling, slavvering, and upsetting other guests. A man was heard to make a loud gurgling sound before slumping on his face and remaining motionless. One started playing a harmonica - badly.


"Everyone has a bit of sympathy for those without homes, but this lot were trouble. One of them threatened to burn the place down, and another urinated behind a plant in the corner of the lobby. They absolutely stunk. Once they'd gone, we had to disinfect the entire area."

Another hotel has now stepped in and rescued the situation. The Shithouse Hotel in Hull has offered the group rooms for as long as they need them. Homeless and Rootless managing director, Alf Bollox, said:

"It's good to know there are people out there who care."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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