Yellen Resigns as Treasury Secretary: Fauci Named as Successor

Funny story written by Charles Havers

Tuesday, 31 May 2022

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It's the economy, stupid!

The White House, in a shocking development, announced that Janet Yellen has resigned as Treasury Secretary effective July 1.

Her replacement will be Dr. Anthony Fauci who will also continue as Chief Medical Advisor to the President.

The press release thanked Ms. Yellen for her years of public service but noted that the country is still dealing with COVID and now faces a potential monkey pox pandemic.

The press release went on: “One major takeaway from the COVID epidemic, is that management of the pandemic and management of the economy cannot be separated.

Whoever is in charge of the pandemic must be in charge of the economy, and there is no one better able to do this than Dr. Fauci.”

Later in the day, Karine Jean-Pierre, Biden’s new press secretary who, like her boss, sometimes speaks without thinking, acknowledged that Biden had asked for Yellen’s resignation.

When asked if the change at Treasury was designed to prop up the President’s abysmal approval ratings as the economy falters and the mid-term elections look increasingly bleak for the Democrats, Ms. Jean-Pierre responded. “This resignation has absolutely nothing to do with the atrocious economy.”

She noted that Ms. Yellen simply does not have any background in immunology and could not be expected to manage the impending pandemic.

When asked what Fauci knows about the Treasury Department, Ms. Jean-Pierre responded: “I can assure you that Dr. Anthony Fauci knows as much about the economy as anyone else in the administration.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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