Dow Falls 1500: Puffitt Tweets "Buy, Buy, Buy"

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 12 May 2021

image for Dow Falls 1500: Puffitt Tweets "Buy, Buy, Buy"
You can go your own way, you can call it another lonely day.

Omaha, Nebraska. Special to The Spoof. Warren Puffitt tweeted a frantic "Buy" message as the Dow fell 1500 points from Monday's early morning intraday high of 35,000 plus, closing Wednesday with a staggering 700 point loss.

Puffitt's tweet urged investors and traders to buy in anticipation of the Dow reaching 40,000 by Christmas. "Today's drawback creates an unexpected opportunity to buy in cheaply in an otherwise constantly rising market."

"Puffitt Profits" one wag tweeted in response, noting that Puffitt has sold all the airline stock he purchased at its low during the pandemic. His Burpshirt Easyway investment company reportedly made $5 billion in six months trading airline shares before he unloaded it. He's reportedly planning to dump his rock group Band of America stock, which he bought at $5 a share, when it reaches 50, but today's Dow retreat threatens to stop BofA's rise, calling forth his "Buy" tweet.

Another broker tweeted: "Maybe BofA's a good "Buy, Buy, Buy"... but if Puffitt is wrong it may be 'bye, bye, bye' to your investment."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more