Elmer Smuckmeister Wins Olympic Cow Pie Throwing Gold Medal
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Joe Cocolochek won the shot put gold medal in the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, Germany, has anyone from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, won an Olympic medal. Although overshadowed by Jesse Owens, who won gold medals in t…
Read full storyWoman still hasn't finished her Haiku
Dorothy Fotherington Smythe from the Estate in Mithering on the Trent has been working on a Haiku for eight months and is yet to finish it. The ancient Japanese writing form is beloved of pretentious 17-year-olds wanting to impress their teachers,…
Read full storyUnfit man complaining about Athletes again
Chutney on the Fritz's most famous inhabitant Brian Asshat has been complaining about the efforts of Athletes, as he always does. The mildly obese thrower of shoes gets slightly breathless in his garden but still likes to believe that he could hav…
Read full storyThe lost art of Umbrella wrangling
Recent news footage has shown that the British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, cannot be trusted to put up an Umbrella. It shows the lovable buffoon trying to erect an umbrella dangerously close to Prince Charles, before the wind, joining in the revelr…
Read full storyBoris Johnson: "I'm the perfect James Bond"
Knowing his time as UK prime minister is drawing to a close, Boris Johnson has set his sights on another role: 007. The premier says he is an ideal James Bond, with all of his boozing and sleeping around. "Who's going to replace Daniel Craig? W…
Read full storyNorth Dakota To Implement The 2-Day Work Week
BISMARCK, North Dakota – (Satire News) – The North Dakota Senate has decided that due to the winters getting harsher and harsher, they have decided to implement a new 2-Day work week. The Senate passed the new law by a vote of 83 for, 16 against,…
Read full storyDr. Fauci Says Donald Trump Needs To Have Surgery
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The nation’s top doctor has made it abundantly clear that the former resident of the White House, Donald J. Trump needs to have surgery and as soon as humanly possible. Dr. Fauci informed the news media that Trum…
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