Juan Guaido climbs fence into National Assembly; rips ass out of trousers
Yesterday, opposition leader Juan Guaido attempted to climb over a fence around the National Assembly Building in Caracas, Venezuela. A vote was taking place to replace him as Speaker with former Guaido supporter, Luis Parra. A year ago, Guaido...
Read full storyGolden Globe Goers Complain Vegan Opera Cake a Little Dry
At the 77th Golden Globes awards dinner, guests enjoyed an entirely plant-based feast which included chilled golden beet soup, wild mushroom risotto, and roasted Brussels sprouts, but some attendees reportedly found the dessert, a vegan "opera cake,"...
Read full storyTrump Says He Can Eliminate New Iranian General Whilst He's Having A Bath
President Donald Trump has flexed his military muscles in response to various threats of Iranian revenge, by saying that, if it suits him, he could eliminate the new leader of the elite Quds force, Esmail Ghaani, whilst he is in the bath. That's,...
Read full storyVegan woman feels 'cheated' following bubonic plague diagnosis
A 25-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that she felt angry and cheated after being diagnosed with bubonic plague, despite having adopted a vegan lifestyle 6 months previously. Tracy Dell, a legal secretary,...
Read full storyDrone Strike Takes Out Large Iranian Suicide Cockroach Suspected Of Biting Melania Trump
A military drone today took out several rooms of the world renowned Mar-a-Lago. The target? The most insidious weapon ever deployed by Iran, a large Madagascar hissing cockroach. "It was spotted by Mrs Trump in the laboratory of their master bedro...
Read full storyInternal documents reveal ice cream industry lobby behind Illinois weed legalization
If residents thought the effort to legalize weed in the state of Illinois was an entirely grass-roots-organized movement, then it might come as something of a buzzkill to learn that powerful ice cream industry lobbying actually spearheaded the push.
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