Bishop's dead pig orgy "not illegal"
A scandal has erupted in the usually genteel world of the Church of England. The Bishop of Chaffinch St Cock, Geoff "The Defiler" Futtock, has been captured on video in a horrific act featuring dozens of dead swine. In the video, Bishop Futtock ca...
Read full storyOlympics To Offer Inter-Sex, All Specie Competition: Dog Diarrhea Contest Possible
BILLINGSGATE POST: The IAAF, the governing body that determines eligibility for international amateur sports, has decreed that future Olympics must offer an open division to include all comers. In order to adjust for “intersex” female athletes who p...
Read full storyWe Might as Well be Walking on the Sun
Many of us are already well aware that sanctions against the Putin regime have inconvenienced Vladimir Putin and his oligarchy. Oleg Deripaska was given a free ride from the U.S. Senate with regards to the sanctions against him. But Putin realizes...
Read full storyHospital Patients Willing to Stop Treatment To Watch Avengers Endgame
There are 16,500 hospitals around the world according to Cybermetrics Lab. Apparently, due to the fact that the Avengers franchise have created such a massive cult, 70% hospitals around the world had to stop their treatments, operations, medical supp...
Read full storyMidlands Couple Off To Skegness In July
Tongues were wagging in the East Midlands this morning, as it started to become common knowledge that a couple from Leicester had announced to friends in the pub last night, that they would be going to Skegness for a week in July. Tom and Betty Br...
Read full storyNew Study Shows People Unwilling to Read Overly Long Head
A new study showed that in this, the age of sound bites and bullet points, readers are unwilling to read headlines or even sentences longer than a few "We almost have to use acronyms for everything," said NYT Staff Editor Kim Lancing. "Even if t...
Read full storyWelcome to Menda-City - New Town to be constructed after Brexit
"Clever, don't you think?", explained Boris as he announced the launch of a 'new town' to be built after the UK has finally wrenched itself from the claws of Brussels. "We thought about calling it Lying-in-wait. Get it? But that seemed somewhat feebl...
Read full storyTelemarketers Condemned to Fate Worse than Hell at Anti-Robocall Convention
Washington, D. C. The First International Anti-Robocall/Anti-Telemarketer Convention convened here this morning, opening with a rousing prayer, below, given by a minister ordained via email by the Internet Gospel church. "Dear Lord. Since the Fe...
Read full storyStar Wars Chewbacca Was Really An Actor In A Monkey Suit
A myth that has surrounded the Star Wars franchise for more than forty years was busted wide open yesterday with the news that the Wookiee character, Chewbacca, was actually a man dressed in a monkey suit! The story broke after the sad news of the...
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