Trump Wants Mosque Removed Ahead Of London Visit
London, UK - The Trump Administration has told Theresa May to get rid of London’s iconic Park Mosque because its 200ft tall minaret ‘could be used for telescopic espionage’ a White House spokesperson said today. The Grade II-listed edifice sits j...
Read full storyTrump “tempers” Bolton and Pompeo in special White House ops
Last week Mr. Trump indicated that at times he must “temper” Mr. Bolton’s enthusiasm for threatening other countries. He stated that “John is a good man," while adding a “but” that, fortunately, at times Mr. Trump needs to control him and calm him...
Read full storyMad Trump Disease and the Nationalist Voter
Mad Trump disease, or Nationalist spongiform fast food encephalopathy (NSFFE), is a transmissible, slowly progressive, degenerative and fatal disease affecting the brain of adult idiots. The USDA estimates that at least 40% of nationalist voters suff...
Read full storyCarbs Sue Keto Doctor for Slander
In a groundbreaking nutritional proceeding, carbohydrates have filed a class action lawsuit against Dr. David Flesch, outspoken proponent of the fad ketogenic or "keto" diet, for slander. Specifically, the starches allege that Dr. Flesch, who promote...
Read full storyIdioms For Idiots
Students who are studying English as a Foreign Language (EFL) are always asking me about idioms. They seem to have a strange and unexplainable obsession with them. "Tea-cher, can you teach about idiom? I want to learn about idiom." It's not eas...
Read full storyMan escorted from a Mall for clowning around
A man named Arrow Flint III was asked to leave a UK mall for dressing like a clown for an interview. Not the smartest job applicant, the man entered the mall for his job interview at a party supply store dressed as a clown. Security was called aft...
Read full storyBlacklisp Spoiler
Hollow Wood, CA - Our Blacklisp source, janitor Moppet Buckae, stopped by my desk this morning and dropped off a script copy of the finale of the Blacklisp. It’s the most ridiculous episode yet, but very believable. Dumboy returns just in ti...
Read full storyTrump Invites Davros and the Daleks to White House Fast Food Feast
WASHINGTON-The fast food commander-in-chief has had a hard time in the past drawing honored guests to White House luncheons. Recently he scored an appropriate win when evil interstellar authoritarian Davros, and the Daleks accepted his invitation to...
Read full storyMan's Telephone Has Lost Its Color Function, And Is Now Black-And-White Only, Like 'Rumble Fish' (1983)
A telephone that has lost its color function, so that everything that appears on its screen is in black-and-white only, reminded its owner of one of his all-time favorite films, the Francis Ford Coppola-produced 'Rumble Fish' (1983). The telephone...
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