Man escorted from a Mall for clowning around

Written by Dracula

Monday, 13 May 2019

image for Man escorted from a Mall for clowning around
"I thought my job interview would be a Circus Show," says Mr. Flint III.

A man named Arrow Flint III was asked to leave a UK mall for dressing like a clown for an interview.

Not the smartest job applicant, the man entered the mall for his job interview at a party supply store dressed as a clown. Security was called after several children started crying while referring to the man as Pennywise the devil.

During a news interview, the man said he was desperate to impress his new boss by showing he was serious about selling party supplies to potential customers.

"He scared me for sure, he did, made the hairs on me arms stand straight up," said Stanley McConnell, a local drunkard who was loitering at the Mall.

With the upcoming release of the new mental patient Joker movie and the demonic Pennywise movie, people have developed a terrifying fear of clowns.

It began in the UK on Friday 13 in September. Police in Newcastle received reports of someone dressed as a “creepy clown” leaping out of bushes to scare children.

Over the next few days, half a dozen such clown incidents were recorded. The Church of England put out a news statement that the Anti-Christ would enter the world as a clown. A teenage clown was chased out of a school for handing out candy to kids. On 5 October, the tabloids announced that a “terrifying clown craze” had hit England. And so the confusion began to spread.

The first named victim was 15-year-old student Tracy Bell, who has a “lifelong fear of clowns” and was chased down the street by one at night. Then, more clowns began to pop up: in Wales, Manchester, Sheffield and Liverpool. Hysteria was everywhere. Concerned parents made Facebook pages about scary clowns, thus inadvertently helping to spread the fear.

The misinformed Met advised schoolchildren to call 999 if they saw a “killer clown”.

A spokesperson for parliament pointed out: “Antisocial behaviour can leave people feeling scared, anxious and intimidated, and I would urge those who are causing alarm to carefully consider the outcome.”

Mr. Flint III said he would seek legal advice next time he applies for a new job, to avert the embarrassment he endured.

These stories were surreal news events which should, actually, be funny. But why clowns? And why now?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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