
Neurologist Recommends Wall for Trump’s Borderline Personality
While many assertions have been made regarding United States President Donald Trump's mental state, neurologist Donald Fraser, M.D., has proposed an actual solution: a neuro-physical wall to protect the internal boundaries of Trump’s borderline perso...
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New Mexican Bribery Treaty To Weed Out Crappy El Cheapo Dope
Mexico/Texas Border, USA - A new US pact with the El Trumpino Bambino cartel has been proposed by the White House, to upgrade the quality of contraband Mexican narcotics. Under the proposed treaty - the Donald Trump Mexican Wall Act 2019 - US Fe...
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New Drug Will Alleviate Reptile Dysfunction
The pharmaceutical industry has come up with a new drug to combat the growing problem of reptile dysfunction. “Reptile dysfunction is a serious problem in America,” said Doug Waxler, CEO of Philadelphia-based Addictive Pharmaceuticals Inc. “We see...
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An ex-cardinal has been defrocked for seeking independence
The Catholic Church has found John Paul III guilty of building a girls' orphanage in Egypt without seeking authority from the Vatican. The Vatican has defrocked John Paul III, an ex-cardinal, and the former archbishop of Istanbul, in the most com...
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Man Vows He Has Written His Last President Trump Story
After coming in for some perceived light-hearted criticism over the repeated use of the outspoken US president, Donald Trump, as a topic to write about, a writer on a satirical news website has vowed that he has written his last President Trump story...
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Wall Opponents Demonstrate and Show Their Hate of Walls
Opponents of a national wall on the U.S.-Mexico Border had a giant demonstration yesterday. Fueling the crowd, a bonfire was started using "The Wall" albums by Pink Floyd and Wall Street Journals. Videotapes of "The Wolf of Wall Street," Wall Street"...
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The Queen is Planning Trump's Next Visit
Buckingham Palace, London, UK Her Majesty the Queen has figured out that, whenever Trump is having exceptionally bad trouble at home, even worse than his usual trouble, he takes a road trip. "Right now he's in North Korea. He'll probably want to...
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Man Terrified By Soft And Dreary 1980s Music And 20 Dollar Salads After Trying To Go "Organic"
Tom Norton, 48, of La Crosse, Wisconsin, experimented with the idea of going "organic" last week, after promising himself that he would let go of Walmart-purchased pot pies, microwavable spaghetti dinners, corned beef hash, processed cheese curds, ha...
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