Twelve Little Known Provisions in the Fine Print of the “Green New Deal”
Close scrutiny of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s “Green New Deal” reveals the following key provisions, which are hereby provided as public service. The United States shall henceforth be renamed ‘Alexandria’s Fossil Fuel Free Fiefdom’ with Queens, New...
Read full storyFree Gluten for Low-Income Americans
With a surfeit of gluten on its hands due to a rising demand for gluten-free food products, the United States government recently announced that its Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program will be offering free gluten to low-income Americans. "I...
Read full storyMan Had Unwelcome Woman Guest At His House For Two Days
Hospitality is a wonderful thing, but not when your wife extends it to a woman you're not keen on, who then proceeds to stay overnight and treat your house as if it were her own. That's the scenario that presented itself to one man in Tapon at the...
Read full storyPrincess Nutmeg ‘Is A Great-Grandma’ Palace Reveals
London - (Reuterus): Born last night at London’s Royal Freak Hospital the bouncy eight-pounder is Nutmeg’s first official great-grandchild Palace** sources have said. A statement on its maternity website described Baby Bonnie as having been concei...
Read full storyAnother One Of Man's Stories Bites The Dust
A writer on a satirical news website has recounted how, despite writing for more than 18 hours of each and every single day for the last 12 years, he still can't dredge a story up that might score him some serious pointage. Moys Kenwood, 65, writi...
Read full storyHumanity Will Outlive Insects by at Least a Month, Claims Optimistic Report
The world is still recovering from a shock caused by the latest scientific report claiming that all insects may be extinct by the end of the century, which will result in a collapse of the planetary ecosystem. In an effort to plant a seed of opti…
Read full storyNew York Musician Hopes His Fake Humility Holds Up on Television
New York singer-songwriter Bryce Beaumont was privileged and honored to have been invited to appear on a wildly popular late-night talk show and only hopes that the songs he shares with the audience bring them joy and inspiration, and that his fake h...
Read full story