Man Had Unwelcome Woman Guest At His House For Two Days

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 12 February 2019

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Welcome to the hotel. Make yourself at home. Like you already did.

Hospitality is a wonderful thing, but not when your wife extends it to a woman you're not keen on, who then proceeds to stay overnight and treat your house as if it were her own.

That's the scenario that presented itself to one man in Tapon at the weekend, when one of his wife's distant relatives arrived back in Cambodia from her work in Thailand - with nowhere to stay.

Moys Kenwood, 55, knew of this woman from his own time in Bangkok, and felt a shudder go down his spine when he saw her outside his house on Monday morning.

She had come home, she said, to see a doctor about some mystery complaint she had. Not that there aren't doctors in Bangkok, but she wanted to see a Khmer doctor, despite the fact that medical facilities in Thailand far outstrip anything Cambodia could remotely offer. Kenwood was suspicious.

She spun some tale about the doctor not being available until the next day, and that she couldn't stay at her own home, because her husband was heavily into 'yaa-baa', and would kill her. Kenwood's suspicions grew.

He started to wonder why, when she had reached the border at Poi Pet, she hadn't gone straight to see a Khmer doctor there, rather than traveling the extra three hours, wasting time, effort and money.

Then Kenwood's wife buckled; she offered this 'leech' a place on the floor for the night, and it was readily accepted. She indicated she was famished, and food was prepared; that there was something on TV she wanted to see; and that her phone needed charging. All of these demands were met, but with ever-increasing irritability on the part of Mr. Kenwood.

Finally, when the unwelcome guest, having occupied the bathroom for 30 minutes, had laid her noggin down for its 'beauty sleep', the householder discovered the wretch had blocked his toilet with a brown torpedo, and had failed to deal with this satisfactorily, or at all . His misery was complete.

Early next morning, he stole out of the house and went to work. When he returned in the evening, he found that the 'guest' had finally left for someone else's house just 10 minutes earlier after exhausting 'the staff' with a multitude of other requests throughout the day.

The Kenwoods had a long discussion on Tuesday evening.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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