London - (Reuterus): Born last night at London’s Royal Freak Hospital the bouncy eight-pounder is Nutmeg’s first official great-grandchild Palace** sources have said.
A statement on its maternity website described Baby Bonnie as having been conceived in a fit of royal wedding ejaculation - uh, jubilation! - becoming 68,500,697th in line to the Throne Room.
And immediately eligible for megabux handouts from the Lord Privvy Seal.
Spoof sources speculate the proud Baby-Momma can’t be named due to privacy injunctions which pimp out Grandmomma as childless, thirty-something and from the United Snakes.
Commenting on this farce-breaking news story the Queen’s flunky said, ‘Oy, f**k you proles, the whole thing is bollox’.
Prince Philip’s new driving instructor is 104.