Woman Claims Groping by Cabinet Designee as Newborn in NY Nursery
It may have happened over 50 years ago, but a NY woman claims she remembers it as if it were yesterday. Now she's appalled that her groper is being considered for a top Cabinet post in the current administration. But that's only if he survives a Cong...
Read full storyWater-cooler TV
Scroobiious Moneybags from the Sell My Grandmother's Back Teeth Television Company has hit upon a brilliant new idea. Speaking at a press conference earlier today, he unveiled his newest idea - Water-Cooler television. He said: ' I hear all of the...
Read full storyFuture NRA Investment Projects In Keeping With Their Violent Tradition
The NRA, reeling after the public notice of their being cash strapped as of late, have decided to expand their financial base of interests to survive. Since their specialized focus of interest are items of destruction it only follows that their busin...
Read full storySenator proclaims all men are horny dogs and should shut up
Washington D. C. - In a Tuesday press conference last week, U.S. Sen. Mazie Hirono D-Hawaii while pontificating about Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh's alleged sexual assault hearing proceedings, she had some very strong words for all men in t...
Read full storyMan tries to explain the concept of a Big Brother-free world to his teenage children
A man in Stevenage has tried to explain to his teenage children, daughter Magnolia and son Weetabix, that a Big Brother-free world would be a better alternative. Bolton Smith said 'Yes, now that Big Brother is finally over, I think that we can all...
Read full storyTrump imposes travel restrictions and tariffs on International Space Station crew
In a move that will further inflame diplomatic tensions, President Donald Trump has announced a series of travel and trade restrictions on crews on the International Space Station (ISS). Trump spoke from the 17th tee at his private golf course in...
Read full storyMan's Glasses Are Close To Being Retired
A man who wears spectacles in the Cambodian second city of Battambang is tonight considering splashing out on a new pair, after the frames in his current pair cracked again - for a fifth time! Moys Kenwood, 55, has been wearing the non-prescriptio...
Read full storyMan's Cock Gets Trapped In Zip
A man has revealed how a night out with friends ended in agony and a hospital visit, after he carelessly got his cock trapped in his zip. Alan Smith, 28, had been breaking drinking records with his mates in pubs around downtown New York, and, as l...
Read full storyBrexit Analysis Impossible Until After Brexit, Claims Man Who Only Reads Sports Pages
The consequences, ramifications, and repercussions of Britain leaving the European Union cannot, and will not, be known until after the event has happened, claims a man who knows absolutely fuck all about economics. Moys Kenwood, 55, said that, as...
Read full storyLutheran Church Failed To Properly Perform Exorcism
Michigan. Several years ago, Danny Fowler, who was 17 years old at the time, became demonically possessed in his parents' home and was rushed to a nearby Lutheran Church in hopes that Pastor Bob Smith would be able to cast out the malicious entity t...
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