Anxious university students demand maestro cease conducting orchestra with a baton
Students at a prestigious northeastern university are demanding the school’s orchestra conductor cease and desist from using either his hands, or his baton, when conducting the university orchestra. “The abrupt hand movements and the brandishing...
Read full storyChristians Follow Pakistan with Campaign for Spoof Writer's Death Sentence
"We've had enough of his shit!" says His Holiness Pope Francis, sovereign of the Vatican City State in a personal encyclical on blasphemy, which was read out to congregations worldwide at the weekend. The person to whom he referred, is none other tha...
Read full storyTrump Outraged At 49ers Cheerleader Who 'Knelt'
President Donald Trump has said he is outraged at the San Francisco 49ers cheerleader who 'took the knee' during the pre-game playing of the national anthem on Thursday. The cheerleader, who has not been identified, knelt during the Star Spangled...
Read full storyEvery Month Now A Public Awareness Campaign
As a new month begins, another awareness campaign accompanies it by wackily incorporating itself into the month's name. Formerly known as 'November', the eleventh month is now forever 'Movember', raising awareness for Liverpool forward Mo Salah an...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Groupies Angry At £50 Note Snub
Female admirers of Leicester City and England defender, Harry Maguire, have reacted angrily to the news that he is not to be considered for inclusion on the new £50 note. Maguire, 24, was England's hero at the World Cup in Russia, and fairer-sex v...
Read full storyBill Cosby Appeals To Warden For Soap-On-A-Rope
Bill Cosby, the comedian-turned-rapist, who is serving between three and ten years in prison for his offences, is not enjoying his stay behind bars, it has been reported. The former funnyman has tried very hard to conform to the prison regime, but...
Read full storyHalloween Was A Flop
A Halloween event 'organised' by a Bangkok school was a spectacular flop, according to one of the people involved. The evening of 31 October is traditionally one of witches, pumpkins, skulls, skeletons, bats, black cats, spiders and ghosts, and th...
Read full storyNeil Ruddock Says "Everything In Moderation"
Neil Ruddock, the former Liverpool defender, has spoken out on his views about greed, saying that, "if only people held back and dealt with things sensibly and in proportion, the world would be a much better place to live". Ruddock, 50, and a righ...
Read full storyPetophilia: Jake The Primate Marries Zoo Handler In Church Ceremony
BILLINGSGATE POST: Primate and gay lover say, "I do." In a rare confluence of legal issues that point out the problems that ensue when there is a conflict with the laws of nature and the laws of man, the ACLU and the Lambda Legal Defense have agreed...
Read full story