Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 2 November 2018

image for Neil Ruddock Says "Everything In Moderation"
Moron

Neil Ruddock, the former Liverpool defender, has spoken out on his views about greed, saying that, "if only people held back and dealt with things sensibly and in proportion, the world would be a much better place to live".

Ruddock, 50, and a right halfwit, made his comments in a radio interview in 2010, but his clownish spiel has only just been revealed as part of a Halloween celebration of the most shocking things ever to have been said.

These comments were in relation to a match in which Ruddock played in 1996, a reserve game between Manchester United and Liverpool, and in which the former United and England striker, Andy Cole, was also playing. Ruddock, nicknamed 'Razor', broke both of Cole's legs, but said:

"I was wrong. I didn't mean to break both of his legs, if I'm absolutely honest. I only meant to break one of them. Everything in moderation."'

Ruddock said the reason he broke the skillfully-superior and more successful Cole's legs was that "Teddy Sheringham didn't like him - and, if Teddy Sheringham didn't like him, I don't like him".

Social media went berserk, and other players were quick to condemn the moronic, talentless, loud-mouthed, big-square-headed fucktard. One player, who wished to remain nameless instead of becoming legless, said:

"In short, he's a moronic, talentless, loud-mouthed, big-square-headed fucktard."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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