Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 2 November 2018

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image for Harry Maguire Groupies Angry At £50 Note Snub
Hawking's head, the rest is Maguire

Female admirers of Leicester City and England defender, Harry Maguire, have reacted angrily to the news that he is not to be considered for inclusion on the new £50 note.

Maguire, 24, was England's hero at the World Cup in Russia, and fairer-sex viewers watching at home on TV, soon gathered themselves into a social media group to discuss 'all-things-Harry'.

One of the things they discussed, was Harry riding atop a pink unicorn on the reverse of the new £50 note, but today they received the bad news that the Bank of England has decided the new face on the note should be a scientist.

Donna#4718 tweeted:

"Scientist? Wot av scientists eva dun for England! @Harry on unicorn"

And she was not alone.

Jacq@harrysuckmytits##! said:

"Harry deserves it. When did Steve Hawkins ever score a crucial goal, or make a last-ditch tackle? Besides, Harry's lovely!"

Others mentioned in the running for the honour of appearing on the note are Ada Lovelace, Rosalind Franklin, and that bloke who invented the computer, Alan Turing.

One member of the Harry Maguire Facebook Fan Club wrote:

"Alan Turing? What's he ever done, apart from investing in the computer?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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