Sunderland Struggle
In an announcement that has shocked no one Northern Ireland manager Michael O'Neil has said he's "not interested in the Sunderland job". Which came as a surprise to Sunderland as, up to that point, they'd not approached him. Michael joins a long...
Read full storyQueen's Speech
Along with a disappointingly snow free Christmas morning, death and destruction in the socialist realist documentaries Eastenders and Emmerdale, the Queen's Speech is now as traditional part of the festive season as seeing Darren from the office phot...
Read full story"Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving
Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...
Read full storyYogurt Apocalypse
British newspaper of repute, The Daily Mail has alerted the world (or anybody on the right wing, who believes this bullshit) that 73rd series of the Great British Bake Off will start the long awaited, and long fore-told yogurt apocalypse. Flauntin...
Read full storyDonald Trump's internal dialogue to be switched of
Following news of all sorts, it appears that the internal monologue that informs all of Donald Trumps tweets, vocal utterings and though patterns is to be switched of, at the suggestion of both congress, and the American public at large. Professor...
Read full storyFeline Victim of Parisian Sexual Predator Comes Forward After 70 Years of Silence
Paris, France - Penelope the Cat, now 90 years old, has come forth with the stunning revelation that renowned French celebrity Pepe Le Pew assaulted her numerous times in the late 40s. The unwanted advances took place at several locations in Fra...
Read full storyFilm actors are not Superheroes, regardless of what they might tell you...
It has emerged that the actors who make a lot of money playing superheroes, aren't actually super-heroes, says a shock report. Actors of the calibre of George Clooney, Robert Downey Jnr, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, Christian Bale, and Ben Affleck...
Read full storyDonald Trump told to start using his indoor voice
US President and chief ompalumpa Donald Trump has been told to start using his indoor voice when speaking, and not his outdoor voice. The leader is known for his shyness and self-effacing ways, but his outdoor voice gets him into trouble, and when...
Read full storySmelly fish restaurant owner wins AA restaurant of the year award!
A renowned UK fish restaurant has topped the AA charts after some splendid reviews claiming the place stinks! The owner, welcomed the fact that a reviewer told TripAdvisor of his experience there, and here it is: "Well, when you walk through th...
Read full storyLittle Known Stories of Remarkable U. S. Presidential Moments
George Saunders's recent book, Lincoln in the Bardo, recounts how the 16th President spent some time in a Washington cemetery mausoleum after the death of his son Willie, being pestered by quirky ghosts. Yet, this is only the latest in a long line o...
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