
Beauty pageant contestant "in it to win it"
In an ill-advised attempt to win the Ms. Californicate Beauty Contest, Chanelle Bigguns whipped off her bikini top, flashing the judges with not one, but (count 'em!) both, of her beautiful, bouncing boobs. She claimed that her tactic was "a wardr...
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Billionaires To Form New Political Party
The political network overseen by the conservative billionaires Charles G. and David H. Koch plans to spend close to $900 million on the 2016 campaign. This spending goal was reached at the Koch's annual winter retreat in Palm Springs where assembl...
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Mr Bean Musical axed after less than a month
The Musical based on the BBC television series has been axed after less than a month of performances in the west end. It Must Have Bean Love - The Mr Bean Musical was written by Ben Elton and starred Michael Ball as Mr Bean. The production caused...
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Bill De Blasio's NYC Blizzard A Global Warming Damp Squib
New York - The Mayor of New York has been left hopping mad after falling for a classic 'Blizzard-of-the-Century' scam. Bill de Blasio shit down - oh, shut down - most of New York City on Monday night after the Snowmageddon card from the Major Arca...
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SNOWMAGEDDON 2015 Fizzles... New York City Shuts Down Anyway...
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - A MONSTER storm packing blizzard conditions spun by the elite East Coast media failed to live up to the hype, but New York City shut down anyway to allow government workers to take an additional day off with pay. Many cit...
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Cambridge offer Louis van Gaal the key to the city!
Stressed Man United manager and master of much 'double Dutch" at his press conferences, Louis van Gaal, better known as LVG, has been given the key to Cambridge by the Lord Mayor. The local football team, Cambridge United, made up of drunk, foreig...
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Biblical Archeologist Claims "It's Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve"!
LEXINGTON, KY-A Biblical Archeologist from Transylvania University in Lexington, KY, now claims that the bumper sticker adorning cars and trucks all over the South are wrong. The bumper stickers, claims Dr. Leslie Elohim of the Classics Dept. at Tra...
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IBM going the way of the T Rex?
International Business Machinations (IBM) denied reports that it plans to lay off 100,000 of its employees after losses for each of the last 11 successive quarters. "We're in the money," CEO Ginni Romney (no relation, as far as can be determined,...
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Britain's 5 most controversial comedians revealed
5. Kelly Potter Kelly Potter was the first woman to ever appear on a british comedy panel show all the way back in 2006 when she made an appearance on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Potter shocked viewers by talking about her private parts - you know like men do, but it's much more offensive because shes a woman, which is far more shocking for some reason. Her style of humour often led to as many as...
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Prosthetic Eyed Video Cam Hooker has Video of Rush Limbaugh
Well she has surfaced again and, with her Prosthetic Eye Cam, has produced another amazing candid expose of a celebrity client. Here is her story. I never planned on releasing the video of my strange sexual encounter with Rush Limbaugh (strange, even for me) but now I hope it sheds some light on this malignant human being. Rush requested that I tie a rope around his neck and loop the other e...
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TLC Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wild"
"It's wild all right!" announced TLC TV President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today: "This will blow your socks off -(along with every other article of clothing heh heh heh) Because we have purchased the XlT1000 Super Security Scanner which El Al Air uses to scan islamists who are constantly trying to blow up Israeli passengers - and it's the best!" He went on: "I mean you can see a spot on...
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Modern Family voted Greatest Television Program of All Time by everybody alive in the entire world
Modern Family is now the only television program ever made to receive the title "Greatest Television Program of All Time" and was voted for by everybody alive today and the award will be presented to the show at the 2015 Golden Globe awards which wil...
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A rap from David Cameron
The following is a rap from Prime Minister, Conservitive Party leader and notorious hip-hop fan David Cameron that he wrote for us at the Spoof Musical Express with hope that he will open your eyes and get you interested in politics. Take it away David... Yo It's David C Telling you to vote for me The leader of the Tory party. I want you to let me stay And save the day Samant...
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London's Lonely Hearts
Grace Power - Tattoo Artist (35) Short haired lady with muscular build whose interests include pumping iron, spitting and football. Is looking for a professional and handsome business-like man. Murray Miller - Retired Factory Assistant (104) 4 ft 4 in height, decrepit, wrinkly and covered in moles and liver spots who enjoys waking up in the morning. Is seeking a woman who can take him to...
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NFL Has New Policy Against Cannabis Use
The NFL is now extensively testing players before football games for marijuana usage. This is a recent policy change. National Footbal League Commissioner Roger Goodell gave an explanation. "The problem with Cannabis is that it is a 'peace" induc...
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Secret Celebrity Marriages Revealed
They managed to keep their nuptials secret for years, even decades, but today, thanks to the opening of public records to the internet generation, Paxton Quigley is able to reveal the odd couple marriages the celebrities didn't want you to know about. Here is a selection of the best and the worst. Michael and Glenda Jackson. Who would have thought it? The piebald plastic child molester "Ki...
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