Bill De Blasio's NYC Blizzard A Global Warming Damp Squib

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

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image for Bill De Blasio's NYC Blizzard A Global Warming Damp Squib
Choppy freezing waters on the East River showcase de Blasio's damp squid

New York - The Mayor of New York has been left hopping mad after falling for a classic 'Blizzard-of-the-Century' scam.

Bill de Blasio shit down - oh, shut down - most of New York City on Monday night after the Snowmageddon card from the Major Arcana featured in his latest ten card spread.

A terrifying three feet of the white stuff was touted in de Blasio's TV rant as part of his prophetic glacial Apocalypse comeback season of appearances.

By Tuesday morning a pathetic two inches was impressing absolutely no one in NYC.

"Least of all our exotic birds," Central Park zookeeper Andy Swallows told Breakfast TV reporters.

"Just about all the Great Tits and Robbin Redbreasts in the Park's aviary are flitting about like it's the first day of spring."

Meanwhile the Reverend Al Sharpton's ecologically-friendly composting toilet has frozen over in Nantucket while the gassy preacher was taking a dump.

Experts on chilblain recovery procedures are being parachuted in just as soon as a thaw frees the old Rev's ass.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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