TLC Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wild"

Funny story written by dave nelson

Tuesday, 27 January 2015


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"It's wild all right!" announced TLC TV President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today:

"This will blow your socks off -(along with every other article of clothing heh heh heh) Because we have purchased the XlT1000 Super Security Scanner which El Al Air uses to scan islamists who are constantly trying to blow up Israeli passengers - and it's the best!"

He went on: "I mean you can see a spot on a nipple like it's a bowling ball AND SO - We at TLC Reality Television are using this fun technology to create a Celebrity Game Show"

"How's it work Mikey?" asked digibandit Hollywood Reporter Elise Mandelbaum.

"Good question Elise" -"Let's say we show pictures of say six hotties -lncluding a hot celebrity -in bikinis - And then we run you all through the scanner AND Then - The contestants have to pick which pair of bodaceous ta ta's belong to the celebrity."

Elise replied; -"So for example - you see MY breasts in a bikini along with five other women and then the audience sees all the actual breasts in the Screener and then they have to select which are mine - Only in the show they would be trying to pick the actual Celebrity's Breasts?"

"You nailed it Elise - and we certainly would want to have a strong array of ta ta's like yours in the screener (heh heh) OH -I wanted to call the show " Million Dollar - Whose Tit's Are They Anyway" - BUT my genius kids in the programming department explained that we will be extending the contest to Celebrity Asses and Scrotums which brings in a much wider audience"

"But Mike?" asked Elise "With all the concern about these screeners and privacy issues right now -isn't that a concern for Fox?"

"Absolutely!" replied Schlocker -- "AND when American's see these magnificent tits and asses and nut sacks of Celebrities up on the TV screen with all those other folks body parts -in a fun Game Show environment - We just KNOW that the whole issue of embarrassment will disappear overnight."

He concluded: "And what's good for national Security -Is good for Fox Television!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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