African Country Offers To Trade Missile Parts To North Korea For Rice
NIPPYTOWN, Kamgooganda - The African country of Kamgooganda like its neighbors Dutch West Wakaboonka and Upper Shambutu has been hit with an astounding drought this past year. A government spokesperson Sim Kimbo Kon stated that the drought has jus...
Read full storyFlying Thai
BANGKOK, THAILAND - Thailand's Politically Correct (PC) Air has hired a bevy of beautiful flight attendants, but they're stewardesses with a "difference": they started life as men! Peter Chann, the airline's president, says he believes in "equal e...
Read full storyPutin Tells Kim Jong Un To Stop Telling People That They're BFF's
MOSCOW - Russian President Vladimir Putin has expressed his displeasure at something that the leader of the North Korean nation, Kim Jong Un stated in an article that appeared in North Korea's national news agency, The Rice Paddy. Putin stated tha...
Read full storyWorld crisis! Putin to Obama: "My Wee Wee is bigger than your Wee Wee!"
As the world shuttered at the prospect of World War 3 this morning, word of a private conversation between Russian leader Putin and President Obama was leaked by inside sources at the White House. The source, who requested anonymity, stated: "I sup...
Read full storyFormer First Lady Begins Banning Words
Former First Lady, Mrs. Baracco Barner, has initiated a drive to officially ban, or outlaw what she considers to be sexist words in relation to women. As a result, she has now officially re-designated her position from 'First Lady' to America's 'Prim...
Read full storyThe Voice controversy over unseen footage
There has been outrage over the revelation that the BBC has not broadcast a section of the Voice because the judges didn't turn around, and the BBC knew that this would cause outrage. "We admit it," said show producer, Sam Pling, "we can't broadca...
Read full storyMost Parents Remain Blind to Mediocrity of Their Children
A study released today reveals that most mothers in the United States have a skewed view of how mediocre and average their own children are. Experts believe that a related study yet to be started will show that at least 85% of the mothers reading thi...
Read full storyCaribbean nations demand reparations from Europe for 12 Years A Slave
Barbados - A rag bag of Caribbean coalition countries is demanding billions of dollars in reparations from the UK and other EU countries for not doshing them up with a decent wedge from the Oscar-winning movie's enduring legacy. Yeah. Lawyers ac...
Read full storyUli Hoeness blames addiction to German Bratwurst for his tax evasion!
Shamed Bayern Munich director, Uli Hoeness, has confessed to the court that his addiction to German Bratwurst was the reason for cheating the German fiscus out of more than 3 million Euros. After Uli retired from active football he became addicted...
Read full storyGlobal Warming - The Proof's in the Hat
Key West, FL (STT News) - A UN-supported, US Government approved Global Warming archaeological research expedition to the small Florida community of Key West has now uncovered evidence that does more than suggest that climate change is upon us. D...
Read full storyWest Virginia dress code aims to make teachers "best dressed" in country
ALMOST HEAVEN, WV - The West By God Virginia Teachers' Union is up in arms over a proposed dress code for the state's educators, which forbids flip-flops, jeans, tank tops, and facial piercings, among other "attire." "How dare they tell me how to...
Read full storyKeith Richards sold on pizza dumbwaiter at new $10.5million Fifth Avenue condo
New York - - A private food elevator servicing the 18th/19th floor Greenwich Village penthouse has a direct link to kitchens at Otto's Pizzeria situated on the ground floor of the 1 Fifth Avenue apartment block realtors said today. "It's one of t...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush to award Snowden Presidential Medal of Freedom
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!, TEXASS -- Former U. S. president George W. Bush is reportedly considering penning a retroactive executive order awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to whistle-blower Edward Snowden. "He's a patriot for exposing...
Read full storyThe Strange Secret Behind "TV Guide"
Published from 1948 to 1988, TV Guide was a magazine dedicated to transvestites. In its early years, it boasted a subscription base of over 100,000, but, as transsexuals became more popular than transvestites, the magazine's popularity gradually declined until it ceased publication. The last issue appeared in June, 1988. Initially, due to the homophobic climate of the forties, fifties, sixties,...
Read full storyFlorida Man Offers $20,000 Reward In Search For Wife
More than a week ago, a 40-year-old woman with a wide girth and a moustache vanished in Florida. Authorities hope and believe she is still alive, and are offering a $20,000 reward for her return. They believe she may just be 'finding herself'.
Read full storyHollyoaks to experiment by hiring "professionally trained actors" for future episodes
The channel 4 soap opera "Hollyoaks" has taken the controversial decision to hire "trained actors and actresses" to play characters in future episodes. The decision has been made by producer Lesby Harrow who said it was an extreme but necessary depa...
Read full storyKim Kardashian wins "Best Kim Kardashian" at the Kim Kardashian Awards
Hosted last night by her mother Kris Jenner in Los Angeles Kim Kardashian won the "Best Kim Kardashian award" for the third year running of the prestigious awards ceremony which has been running for three years. "It was so scary I was dreading get...
Read full storyRoyal Mail aim to deliver...eventually
The Royal Mail has announced that they will still continue to attempt to deliver your mail, despite price increases. Following recent news that the already astronomical cost of delivering letters and parcels is yet again about to increase, they ha...
Read full storyJuan Pablo of The Bachelor Finally Reveals Why He Cannot Tell Nikki Ferrell That He Loves Her
LOS ANGELES - The reason why The Bachelor's Juan Pablo Galavis refuses to tell Nikki Ferrell that he loves her has finally been revealed. Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight reports that he talked to Juan Pablo who gave him the reason. The...
Read full storyPussy Riot, The All-Girl Russian Punk Rock Band Is Planning On Moving To Colorado - The Marijuana Capital of The USA
DENVER - A realtor in Denver has just stated that he received a phone call from a Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, one of the members of the all-girl punk rock band Pussy Riot which hails from Russia. Miss Tolokonnikova wanted to see about purchasing some...
Read full storyStacy Keibler Is Now A Married Woman
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The fantasy of millions of guys has just announced that she is now a married woman. Stacy Keibler, who broke up with George Clooney after a two-year relationship, has just tied the knot with Jared Pobre. Pobre's profess...
Read full story"Sexist" transgender model disses genetic girls
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW -- Carmen Cajones, a transgender model and former contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race, has been rebuked by the lesbian gay bisexual transgender (LGBT) community for her"sexist" and "misogynistic" remarks about women. "They...
Read full storySelena Gomez Gets Back With Justin Bieber For The 7th Time - Taylor Swift Says The Girl Will Never, Ever Learn
DIME BOX, Texas - Selena Gomez is becoming known as the younger version of Katy Perry. Perry entered into a relationship with John Mayer three times and three times she got her cute looking butt dumped by the man known as "The Player" Mayer. An...
Read full storyMcDonald's Sales Continue To Slide - The Company May Have To Lay Off Ronald McDonald
OAK BROOK, Illinois - The latest sales reports for the McDonald's fast food chain are in and they show a downward slide trend continuing. Golden Arches spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta informed the news media that a lot of that has to do with the big a...
Read full storyThe Bachelor's Juan Pablo Picks The Slender Blonde Nikki Ferrell
LOS ANGELES - The Bachelor came down to Claire Crawley a hairstylist from Sacramento, California and Nikki Ferrell, a pediatric nurse from Kansas City, Missouri. And Nikki will be going back to Kansas City with a great big smile on her face as she...
Read full storyJay Leno Receives His Very First Unemployment Check
BEVERLY HILLS - Jay Leno who hosted The Tonight Show for 16 years has just informed the news media that he has received his very first unemployment check. One reporter asked the multi-millionaire if maybe he didn't feel a bit guilty for accepting...
Read full storyMadonna Admits That Cellulite Gives Her Character
NEW YORK CITY - The singer who sang "Papa Don't Preach" has just admitted something that she has been denying for years. The Material Grandmother told Pia Confetti with Celebrity Globe that she can no longer deny the fact that the dreaded cottage...
Read full storyNevada to Lower Drinking Age to 12
CARSON CITY, NV - Nevada Governor, Brian Sandoval, announced today that Nevada will lower the legal drinking age in Nevada from 21 to 12. The announcement came shortly after Colorado announced that it reaped $2.1 million from marijuana sales in J...
Read full storyMexican drug lord escapes death twice; maybe the third time will be the charm
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican Drug lord Nazario Moreno was killed again on Sunday, when federal forces shot him during a firefight. It was the second time since 2010 that the bandito was killed by authorities. "He is persistent for a dead man," a...
Read full storySnowden: Big Brother is watching every move you make
WHITEWSHINGTON, DC - According to top secret files released by Edward Snowden, the U. S. government plans to tap into employees' computers across the nation and, indeed, around the world, monitoring their every keystroke, telephone call, and emai...
Read full storyThe Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 4, Denmark "friendly"
Bloody Daniel Agger. I wanted to get on that pitch and kick him in the nuts after what he did to our little Jack. I was out of my seat seething and shouting at the bastard. Yes okay, so maybe I was on the bench, but we can't all be in the team and...
Read full storyBook Review - Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Loved this book....not much really to say about it though. Apart from this VERY funny story, revolving around an incident while on a cruise with my dad's brother, Thomas. All was fine, nothing really eventful occurring. We were enjoying the expensive drinks, the lines forming in the restaurant and the extortionate cost of anything and everything, you know, the usual cruise nightmare.
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