West Virginia dress code aims to make teachers "best dressed" in country

Funny story written by Gee Pee

Tuesday, 11 March 2014


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

ALMOST HEAVEN, WV - The West By God Virginia Teachers' Union is up in arms over a proposed dress code for the state's educators, which forbids flip-flops, jeans, tank tops, and facial piercings, among other "attire."

"How dare they tell me how to dress!" an irate union member whined.

What really "frosted my shorts," complained Susie Q, who asked to remain nameless, "is the prohibition against thong panties": "What I wear below the belt is my business, not theirs!"

Many of her students, especially males, she added, have complimented her on her attire.

"They say they love my undies," she declared.

Junior high school Janet Lee Melone teacher, said she is put off by the dress code's requirement that female teachers wear brassieres. "It's sexist," she said, "to make women wear bras but allow men to go braless."

Besides, she contends, she looks good without a bra.

One of her students, Melvin agreed. "Janet has some nice pokies!"

Principal Ima Prude said she cannot understand why any teacher would object to the proposed dress code. "We're simply asking teachers to dress with the same level of modesty that their students exhibit."

"Well, it's a big issue for us," Madeline ("I-as-mad-as-hell-and-I'm-not-going-to-take-it-anymore") Hatter insisted. "we're not children, and we shouldn't be told how to dress."

Principal Prude said that the teachers may not like it, but school officials "can and will dictate" how teachers dress in the workplace.

"We have a lot of impressionable children in our care," she observed, "and they're not here to see teachers flaunt breasts and buttocks, except in sex ed classes."

The sex ed teacher, Prude said, would be "exempt" from the dress code's requirements, but all other teachers would be expected to adhere to "all thee hundred pages" of mandates.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more