
What To Do With Son's Messy Friends Watching Sport On TV
SAINT LOUIS POST DISPATCH BONNIE BRITTLE'S ADVICE Dear Bonnie: My son, who is 27 lives with us - his mom and dad - and will not go out to find a job. This Sunday he's invited 8 of his friends over to watch the Super Bowl. They come over for many sporting events: Golf, bowling, soccer and so on. They drink up all of our beer, eat huge quantities of food, leave a huge mess in the living...
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The Queen sends stern reproach to Canadian High Commissioner over Justin Bieber antics
Quebec, Canada - Her Majesty has written to the Canadian High Commissioner, Sir Wally Bong-Chillum, suggesting he dispense with the 'High' part of his official title because it may have set a bad sample to runaway teenage pot fiend Justin Bieber.
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Dolly Parton: Are you sure Justin Bieber is not from Alabama?
County superstar Dolly Parton is no fan of Justin Bieber and thinks he makes the rednecks back in the Ozarks look like Ralph Lauren Models. "What is up with this kid and his parents?" an exasperated Parton said after a recent concert in Nashville.
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Justin Bieber's Plane Stopped for Marijuana on Way to Super Bowl
Justin Bieber's personal plane -that was headed to New Jersey for the Super Bowl - was held at Teterboro Airport on Friday afternoon under suspicion it was carrying marijuana, other drug phernalia, law enforcement sources said Friday evening. The...
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Fed Agents Arrest dozens selling $23.3 Million in Counterfeit NFL Merchandise
Just ahead of the Sunday Super Bowl, federal officials announced today that a crackdown on counterfeit National Football League merchandise, revealing the seizure of more than $23.3 million in fake NFL merchandise, Thursday. In an initiative calle...
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Cruise lines bid on historic nuclear-powered aircraft carrier to resolve industry's persistent woes
WASHINGTON DC-Representatives of Princess Cruises, Royal Caribbean International, Carnival Cruises, Disney Cruises and other cruise services are reportedly bidding for the U. S. Navy's first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, the USS Enterprise, for u...
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Best Name For Super Bowl, Stoner or Bud Bowl?
This Sunday the Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos - the NFL teams from the two sates that have legalized marijuana - will play in the Super Bowl. "We're calling it the 'Stoner Bowl,'" said Pete "Headbutt" Sayers of the Hawks. All of us on...
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Colleges Could Replace Football Teams With Race Horses
For the first time in the history of college sports, athletes are asking to be represented by a labor union, taking formal steps on Tuesday to begin the process of being recognized as employees. Ramogi Huma, president of the National College Playe...
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Old Britney, Ancient Madonna
Although they say Britney and Madonna are for older folks, most of today's youth say that although they admire Britney and even Madonna, they want nothing to do with their music. "They're out of it as far as my friends and I are concerned", stated...
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#CashTag - Cash's nametag company bought up by IP entrepreneur
An unnamed businessman has secretly taken control of the ailing Cash nametag company after he discovered they owned the trademark Hashtag™. A Cash's spokesperson said that the Coventry company would be moving away from their previous business...
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'Top Gear' getting taxpayers funding
As it enters its 25th year the popular BBC show 'Top Gear' has been reveled to receive £3.2m of taxpayers money as it is seen to be an essential part of David Cameron's immigration strategy. "Look 'Top Gear' is hosted by my good chum Jeremy so it...
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The U.S. Plans To Extradite Amanda Knox To Italy
SEATTLE - An Italian court of law has convicted Amanda Knox on charges of murder. The Seattle native has contended that she is innocent but as they say, 99.3 percent of all criminals sitting in U.S. prisons all say that they're innocent. One of...
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Boulder Petting Zoo Owner Says The Animals Are So Stoned From The Pot In The Air That They're Petting The Kids
BOULDER - The owner of Boulder's Noah's Ark Petting Zoo has told local authorities that the marijuana smoke in the air is starting to make his petting zoo animals act very strange. Emerson Danube, 43, stated that before the air was filled with the...
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Weathermen and Meteorologists Are Being Told To Stop Mentioning The Wind Chill Factor
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Weather Service is instructing all United States weathermen and meteorologists to stop stating the wind chill factor in their weather reports. The FWS has said that it is already damn cold enough and people are alrea...
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A Colorado Group Wants The Colorado Avalanche of The NHL To Change Its Name
DENVER - Word from the world of sports is that there is a movement in Colorado to change the name of the National Hockey League Colorado Avalanche to the Colorado Pot Pucks. According to Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette, the movement was...
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Taylor Swift: Hey Justin Bieber Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Butt On Your Way Out Loser!
LOS ANGELES - Taylor Swift has still not forgotten several of the childish pranks that Justin Bieber played on her. She recalled the incident where Bieber called her up pretending to be Michelle Obama and invited her to spend a whole week at the W...
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Prostitutes In Pueblo, Colorado Are Reportedly Acceptiing Marijuana In Lieu of Cash
PUEBLO, Colorado - A member of The Pueblo City Council has just informed the public that they've learned that prostitutes working the downtown area of Pueblo have developed a new payment method. It appears that the streetwalkers are now accepting...
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The John & Bob Denver International Airport In Denver Has A Brand New Cannibas Appropriate Slogan
DENVER - The director of The John & Bob Denver International Airport, Washburn Bookbottom, has announced that the airport has just approved a brand new airport slogan. The slogan which will be put up all over the airport terminals will read "A...
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Willie Nelson Confesses He Has Fallen In Love With Madonna
WATERLOO, Iowa - Willie Nelson finished his third encore at the packed Crop Rotation Convention Center and he went backstage to his dressing room. He spoke with Calcutta Cotton of Music Moments Magazine. She asked him how he had liked performing a...
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The Colorado Governor's Mansion Could Be Getting A New Name
DENVER - There is a movement in the state of Colorado to rename the Governor's Mansion. Reports are that many marijuana enthusiasts in the Rocky Mountain State want to name the governor's mansion Grassland. And there are some Coloradans who wan...
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The Deport Justin Bieber Petition Hits 105,000 Signatures
DETROIT - The petition to deport the highly troubled Justin Bieber back to Canada has reached over 105,000 signatures. Once a petition garners 100,000 signatures the president of the United States has to make a decision regarding the petition.
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Research Shows Women Scientists Would be More Useful at Home, says Woman Scientist
Washington, D.C. - In a groundbreaking study involving the National Institute of Health, some women are hearing unexpected results. A study financed by the National Organization for Marriage, with no bias at all, shows that women scientists would act...
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Osborne - Loans to be made available to build Arks
Chancellor of spin, "Gorgeous George" Osborne has announced that "Loan-Grants" are to be made available to married couples (straight or gay) to build Arks to solve the flood crisis. He announced to a meeting of redundant shipbuilders in Somerset,...
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Bob Schieffer Interviews Ted Cruz's Ass
Bob Schieffer, on Face the Nation, interviewed Texas Senator Ted Cruz's ass on Sunday. When asked about the government shutdown last fall, Cruz's ass said: "Throughout the government shutdown, I opposed a government shutdown. I said we shouldn't s...
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